Versailles Series Book 3: The Nun [COMPLETED]

CHAPTER 22

"How do you un-love someone. Hindi ko usually ina-advice ang mga taong huwag mahalin ang isa't isa."

That made the bachelor governor smile. Mahaba ang pila ng mga babaeng gustong maging first lady nito. He was a young and brilliant politician. She's curious about the woman who finally caught his heart.

"It's a different kind of love. Something that comes only once in a lifetime."

"Bakit naman, gusto mo ng mawala ang nararamdaman mo sa kanya?"

"She doesn't want me. I never felt this way with any woman. Even with Selene whom I courted the longest, I never felt this way. Mahal ko siya. Mahal ko si Patch. But she doesn't want me that way. I thought we had this connection. But the moment her job is done, she left me just like that."

Hindi niya naiintindihan ang ibang sinasabi nito pero ang naintindihan niya ay hindi ito mahal ng babaeng mahal nito.

"I don't even know how and where to look for her. Right now, I just want her out of my system."

She looked at the altar. "Sarili mo lang ang makakapagsabi kung paano ka titigil na mahalin siya. Kung kailan. Kapag sinabi ko sa iyo ngayon na huwag mo siyang isipin, mas iisipin mo siya." Huminga siya ng malalim. She needs her own advice. "Time. Gasgas na pero totoo pa rin. Time heals everything. Lilipas ang mga araw na hindi na siya masyadong sasagi sa isip mo. Dadaan ang panahon at masasanay ka sa sakit. Masasanay ka na wala na siya sa tabi mo. 

Hindi mo kailangang makakilala ng bago para makalimutan siya. Hindi mo kailangang sirain ang buhay mo para bumalik siya. Kapag nakalaan siya sa iyo, kahit anong iwas at tago niya magkikita pa rin kayo. Kung hindi man, makakakilala ka ng bago na mas mamahalin mo at darating iyon kapag handa ka na. Sabi mo kanina, mas minahal mo siya kaysa kay Selene. Siya na ang nasa posisyon ni Selene ngayon at may iba na na parating."

"I don't want anybody else."

"May tanong ako sa iyo. Paano mo na-let go ang feelings mo kay Selene. Bakit si Patch na ang mahal mo ngayon?"

"Selene has always been consistent. She never showed me any interest. I'm just a close friend to her. Siya ang ideal woman ko pero wala akong attachment sa kanya. With Patch..." He exhaled and fisted his hands. "...we were more than just a pretend couple. We kiss, make love, cuddle, sleep together. We were partners in crime. How am I supposed to let that go? I'm tired of this. Ang bigat sa dibdib."

"I honestly don't have the answers, Gov."

"Have tried un-loving someone?"

She smiled. "Yeah. I wanted what you wanted. I was looking for an escape. That's why I'm here. Kaya ako madre. Now that I think about it....I wasn't fair to myself and to Him. For the past two years, I felt safe and healed. It's like...I'm ready to love again. But here I am."

"If time will put you back two years ago, will you do it again?"

She looked at the altar and her tears fell one after the other. Hindi siya makasagot. In her heart she knew that her answer has changed and once again, it broke her heart.

"Love is fucked up." Usal ni Kylo. "It puts you on cloud nine or six feet under."

Inabutan siya nito ng panyo bago tumayo. "I hope we find answers to our questions, Sister."

I hope so.

***

Nakatanggap ng isang tawag si Nyx mula kay Carrie isang araw, Pinapapunta siya sa opisina nito. Mabilis naman siya pumunta sa Wallflower kung nasaan ang office nito.