The Girl With No Surname

Part 8 - Indecisions

Shaurya had no idea why he was doing it. That night, after Anokhi left for the hostel, he decided to share his feelings with Aastha, his sister and his confidante. She listened to everything quite patiently. When he stopped speaking, she said,

'Shaurya, jo raste par tum aab chal rahe ho, uska manzil bhi tumhe nhi pata. So, why are you not taking it slow? Why are going down a path where you can break someone's heart? I must ask you this. Can you give this girl what she deserves? Tumhari baaton se mujhe nhi lag raha ki you are sure about her.'

Shaurya threw his hands up in the air, 'I am NOT sure Di. I agree with you. I am not sure of myself or my present condition. Then how can I be sure of her? She is only 18! She is just infatuated with me. But she doesn't understand this. And she keeps doing all these stuff..and...and....I don't know how I got involved...and I am feeling so guilty right now.'

Aastha placed her hands on his shoulders and made him sit forcibly.

'Don't get worked up. This is serious. You have to handle this patiently. As it is between you two, main baat nhi kar sakti Anokhi se. It won't look decent. Jo bhi karna hai tumhe ki karna hai. You can't fall weak. Shaurya, it's Anokhi we are talking about here. Tumhe to pata hai ki woh kitni ziddi hai. Aur bohot akeli bhi. To tum aisa kuch mat karna ki uski self-respect ko thes pahuche...'

Shaurya almost broke down in tears, 'Wahi to Di. Main kuch samajh nhi paa raha. What I did today was not right. Ye sahi nhi tha. Pata nahi kya ho gaya tha mujhe. I just....lost control....But I can't make her forget it. She is reveling in it. I...I can't take it back even if I want to.'

Aastha pressed his hands a little, 'Tum usse sabkuch sach sach kyu nhi bol dete?'

Shaurya looked at her, a little taken aback.

She continued, 'Haan Shaurya, koi bhi ladki tumhara sach janne ke bad tumhare saath aise involve hogi kya? Tum hi batao. This is the only way to get rid of this infatuation or whatever that she is having for you. Yeah, it will break her heart. It will shatter her completely. But better now than later, right?'

Shaurya guessed that she was right. He nodded, 'Haan Di. Aap sahi keh rahe ho. Mujhe Anokhi se khulkar baat karni chahiye. Par Di, agar uske baad bhi....I mean...if she still wants to be with me....'

Aastha smiled at him, 'Then Shaurya, she is your soulmate.'

Shaurya made a face, 'Kya di, aap bhi! Aisa kuch nhi hai. Bacchi hai. She has a crush on me, that's it. Nothing more.'

Aastha ruffled his hair, 'Then don't be scared. And don't take too much stress. But tell me one thing. If she decides to cut all ties with you, will you miss her?'

Shaurya thought for a while before answering, 'Will I?'

He couldn't think of a straight reply. Aastha didn't pester him anymore. She probably knew the answer.

Shaurya didn't meet Anokhi for the next two days deliberately. He dodged her calls and made Aastha lie that he was busy. Meanwhile Anokhi was getting restless. She somehow guessed that he was avoiding her. She waited for his response for two days but landed up on his doorstep on the third. Shaurya invited her inside, calmly.

'Aap mujhe ignore kyu kar rahe ho Mr. Saberwal?'

Was her first question. He smiled in reply.

'Aap mera call nhi utha rahe ho, Aastha ma'am se kehalwa rahe ho ki aap busy ho. Aisa kya kar diya maine? Directly bol nhi sakte ki aap mujhse milna nhi chahte? Kis baat ka darr hai aapko?'

'Bol liya?' Shaurya was calm as ice, 'Aab meri bhi sunogi?'

'Boliye?' Anokhi crossed her arms.

'Anokhi, main sachmein ek case ko leke busy tha. Main tumhe aaj hi cll karnewala tha. Anyways, accha hua ki tum aa gayi. Mujhe tumse kuch zaroori baat karni hai.'