Glee Oneshots

Dear Lucy Quinn

Dear Lucy Quinn Fabray

I remember the first time I had a crush on a girl. And that girl was you.

I must have been 10, or something. Old enough to know how I felt, but not old enough to know what it meant. The in-between stage.

I wasn't hot yet, and I wasn't exactly pretty. My hair was too frizzy, I was too gangly, and I had braces to close the gap in my front teeth.

And you were beautiful. I would sit at the same desk across from you, and secretly watch you over the top of my book. While the boy beside me threw paper airplanes to his friend, and the boy beside you kept smacking the rulers off the desk making us both jump, I would notice what you were wearing and how you had done your hair.

Your name was Lucy Quinn Fabray, but you wanted people to call you Quinn. I thought that your full name was pretty. But Quinn suited you as well. The only time I heard anyone call you Lucy was when your mom picked you up from school. She said 'hi Lucy, how was your day?' And then you blushed a dark shade of pink, and walked away.

I was completely infatuated with you.

I didn't have many friends, and neither did you.We were both at opposite ends of the social spectrum. I was the nerdy reader, who was freakishly smart and played soccer better than anyone in our grade. You were the teachers pet, who looked like a doll and would get teased for her immaculate dresses and frilly white socks.

We weren't friends. Not for a while.

It would have made sense for us to be close, but it never really happened. You seemed too good for me. I was a messy kid, with tangled hair and permanently scuffed knees. My Mami and Abuela were in constant despair about me. I didn't care though. I was comfy in my clothes, and I was too busy caring about how many times you had smiled at me that day.

At first, that was the only way we ever really communicated with each other. Through smiles, and eye rolls, and hidden giggles behind our hands. And you wrote me a letter.

I still have it, kept safe and hidden.
Another secret.

It was written on white paper, with a border of pink flowers. You put little hearts over her 'i's, instead of a dot. And you used a pink pen to write. It said.

'To Santana,
Thank you for getting my picture back from Puck. I like your shoes. Did you colour the flowers on?
Quinn x

The little x at the end meant the world to me. And it changed our relationship, probably for the better. We started to talk more. In gym, we would go as partners and hide under the bleachers, she drew while I read. You were the first person to give me the nickname 'Tana'.

We balanced each other out perfectly.

I remember the first time you came over to my house. I was so excited. My Mami has asked your mom at school if you wanted to come over for dinner. Your mom nodded, looking happy that her daughter had a friend. But then her smile faltered when my Mami told her where we lived. I knew that Pima Heights wasn't perfect, but it was the only home that I had ever known.

That night was one of the best I've ever had. We had spaghetti for dinner, with garlic bread. Mami let us have a soda each, and I blew bubbles in mine until it went all over the place. You froze, in what I would later realise as fear, but my Mami just laughed and told us to go outside to play while she cleaned up. There was a playground just along from my house we could go to, even though it was cold and dark. But I gave you my warmest jacket, and we took torches to find our way.

We climbed up on top of the jungle gym, and balanced on the highest part. You wrapped your arms around me, your hand squeezing mine tight. I spread our arms out and shouted
"I'm the Queen of the world!"
You giggled, then copied me.
"I'm the Quinn of the world!"
We laughed for ages at that. Sitting on top of the cold metal, your hands tucked into mine, while dogs barked and sirens wailed in the streets around us, I was happy for the first time.

The first time I went to your house was a totally different matter. It was for your 11th birthday. I was the only person invited, because I was your only friend. I had met your mom before. Her name was Judy, and she had blonde hair like you, but blue eyes instead of your green eyes. I had never met your dad, but I kind of knew he was scary, because you never liked to talk about him and you didn't like people shouting, because it's what he did.

My Mami was so excited for me. She made me wear a dress, and gave my hair a proper wash. She even used her fancy products in it, and dried it silky smooth. I wore my brand new shoes. They were red patent, with shiny gold buckles. They matched my red dress, and the red satin ribbon I had tied in my hair. I looked like a princess.

When we pulled up outside youd house, Mami said a prayer under her breath. It was the size of our whole apartment block, but it looked way nicer. It was white, with big pillars outside it, and three shiny black cars parked outside.

Mami walked me to the door. Judy answered it, with you beside her. I handed you the present I had got you. It was a pink hairband, which would match your favourite dress perfectly, and a book I had written about you. It was only a few pages long, but I wrote it like a comic so you could draw in pictures.

You grabbed my hand and we ran upstairs. You looked so, so, so pretty. Your mom had done a braid at the front of her hair, and you were wearing a white dress with lace at the bottom. But you were biting your lips, and frowning. Your dad was angry, you said, and we had to behave so that he wouldn't get mad at us and yell. I nodded, scared of this man I had never even met.

As I sat across the table from you, I noticed how different it was to dinner at my house. I was an only child as well, but my Mami and Papi would always talk and laugh and ask me about my day. Music is always playing, and Abuela might drop by to have a chat with Mami. But this place, it's cold and lonely.

Russel asks me lots of questions. About where I live, and my parents jobs, and what I want to do when I'm older. And I answer them politely, the way Mami taught me to do. I told him that I live in Lima Heights Adjacent, that my Mami is a nurse and my Papi is a police officer, and that I want to do law.

You didn't look up once. You slowly cut away at your chicken, until it's completely shredded. That's when the shouting starts.

I try to block most of it out, but it doesn't seem to end. Russel calls you all sorts of names, and you just kept your head down and lets the tears drop onto your plate. When he finally sends you to your bedroom, I follow you up.

You lock the door behind you, and cry. I just sit beside you, letting you sob it all out. And I understand a lot about you. I realise that you're perfect because that's all you're allowed to be, and that it sucks. It sucks a lot, especially for a 11 year old. In that moment, I swear to myself that I will always protect you.

I never go to your house again.

You will always have a place in my heart. Obviously,
I'm not in love with you anymore. You're in California somewhere, with your girlfriend, living the best life. And I'm married to my beautiful wife, Brittany, living the best life as well.

But this was for you, Lucy.
Your Tana