Masked

Confusing Feelings

Trey

I'd like to see you try" she teases me

As she pushed me away because I was starting to slowly lean into her, and I didn't notice it because I was too busy staring at her plump kissable lips

"If you let me have this chance then try I will " I tell her as I finally give in to temptation and lean towards her to kiss her

I felt her stiffen as I kiss her, and it took her time to respond just not the reaction I was hoping for.

She pushed me away so hard that my head bumped in the cupboard behind me

"Shit" I cursed as I held my head and when I opened my eyes I saw she's gone, and the back door being slammed.

"Xiara Wait!" I yelled after her but she was too fast she ran towards the forest behind the house

I ran my hand on my hair in frustration.

Why can't she just give me a chance?! I will never hurt her if she just give me a chance... She doesn't have to be scared of letting me in her life, because she won't regret it, I had never wanted someone this much in my entire life. Maybe the saying 'people want what they can't get' is true. I can make every girl swoon to my feet except her. The moment I first saw her, I felt she was different, she actually dared to speak against me when she knew I can ruin her entire highschool life, maybe that's what made me fall for her, she's different, she's not like the girls I usually date, she's so real about herself, she's so strong yet so vulnerable, but she can take care of herself.

Xiara Nights, give me a chance to show you not every person you let in your life will hurt you. Please let me be the one to show you that you don't need to pretend to be so strong all the time, your meant to be weak so I can protect you.

Xiara

What the heck is wrong with me? Why did I let him kiss me? And why the hell do I feel so guilty when I left him there?

I kept thinking over my mind, while sitting at the edge of the old dock while throwing pebbles at the lake.

His words replay on my mind

' Well based on what I see on you, you will choose to hurt other people than to hurt yourself, you will leave other people before they leave you and most of all you choose to barge in people lives and when they come too close to breaking your walls, you leave them'

Am I that selfish? If I'm really selfish, I guess it's better to hurt someone than to get hurt yourself.

I want to let people in my life, but I'm so scared to get hurt when they leave. So many people have already left me. But the ones that really hurt is when my mom and dad left me.

I kept on asking God, How can he be so cruel? Why did he choose to spare me and live a life of unhappiness when he could let me die with my parents happily?

By now, tears were dripping down my eyes.

If anybody can hear me right now, how can I be so selfish, when everyone around has been the one who's selfish to me?! I lost my parents at a young age. I suffered from bullying at the age of 13, and did anybody help me? No, none of them helped me. I was the only one who helped myself. I was the one who comforted myself , I was the one to help myself to stop crying myself to sleep, I was the one who made an effort to help myself to forget my parents death, I was the one who stand up for myself when I was being bullied, no one helped me get out of the dark. I did it myself! I might be the most selfish bitch the world has seen, but at least there's a reason behind my actions

'If you will let me have this chance, then try I will'

His voice rings in my head. "Ugh why the heck am I even thinking about what he says? I don't care about him" I try to convince myself. But I'm not doing a great job on it.

I bit my lower lip, just get out of my thoughts Tyler, you jerk head, and stop giving me confusing feelings You already did enough damage in my mind.

I throw another pebble at the lake and was surprised when another pebble followed after.

I turn around and find Tyler behind me

"What do you want?" I coldly asked him

"You know what I want, a chance" he tells me as if it is the most obvious thing in the world

"Stop it Tyler, just go away"

"There you go again" he tells me as if he expects this to happen

"What?" I snapped at him confused at what he means

"pushing me away, when I hit a wall"

Silence

"what are you so afraid of Xiara?" He tells me as he strokes my cheek with his thumb to wipe away the fallen tear in my eye that I didn't even noticed

"it's none of your business" I snap at him

"well too bad babe, you told me you'll let me have that chance, and I already agreed and when I agree, nothing not even a disaster can stop me from making the most out of it" he states seriously "and I'm not kidding about what I just said Xiara, I'll be the one to heal you from your past"