My Last Hope

13

Warnings:
-(Child) abuse (blood/wounds)

Clay's POV

I was sober when I went back home hours later. I was walking really slowly since I didn't want to go home. My dad was home all day today and I was scared he would get really mad at me again since the school probably called him again.

I knew I had to go home anyway even though I really didn't want to. It caused every step to feel like I had to run a marathon instead of putting one leg in front of the other.

After walking twice as long as I normally used to walk, I arrived at my house and stared at the door. I wiped my hands off on my sweats and then turned the door knob around to go in.

⚠️ Abuse

It seemed like my dad had been waiting for me and he held up a phone. 'CLAY, I'M SO SICK OF YOU,' he screamed at me, grabbing my shoulders to push me against the wall.

'Not again,' I mumbled as I looked at his terrifying eyes.

'I'm so sick of you, Clay. I'm actually so sick of you, loser. You're such a dumbass!' he scolded.

I got pushed another time and then kicked against my legs. It caused me to fall down on the ground and my dad knelt down, grabbing the collar of my shirt. He looked at me with the angriest look in his eyes I had ever seen, it scared me so much that I closed my eyes.

My dad shook me so hard that my head banged against the floor. He lifted me up and pushed my back against the wall.

'I hate you so much, Clay. Please kill yourself, it's not that hard.'

I didn't answer and hoped for him to stand up and leave me alone, but he didn't seem to be done with me.

I saw him clench his fist and it came closer to my face. I closed my eyes again and felt the fist hit my face. I winced and groaned softly as he started to squeeze my wrist really tightly.

'Stop, please,' I squeaked. 'It hurts.'

My dad squeezed it even tighter until I screamed because of the pain. He grinned and lifted his knee, hitting my stomach. I immediately gagged and he laughed even louder.

'Stop.' I was breathless and extremely scared.

My dad found it funny when I asked for help and turned my arm around, resting his knee on my wrist as he punched me on my ribs. I hitched a breath and hit my arm around me to find something I could hold.

'You shouldn't have skipped school again, you've always failed in life. That's the only thing you can do. Fail.'

I tried to free myself from his knee on my wrist, but he punched me in my face again so I wouldn't move anymore.

Then he lifted me up and pushed me to the door. I fell forwards and hit my head against the door, making him laugh.

'You're either going upstairs or outside. I don't want to see you again.'

I stood in front of the door, hesitating if I should go upstairs or outside. Apparently I took too long for his liking and he grabbed my shoulders after opening the door. He pushed me on the stairs and I hit my head again as he kicked me against my ribs.

'I'm so sorry,' I panted. I was so short of breath because of him kicking my ribs again and crawled up the stairs. He slammed the door behind me and I felt tears coming up in my eyes when I got left alone.

⚠️ Over (still wounds/blood)

I managed to crawl to my room and laid down on my bed after grabbing my bear. I held my phone in one hand and sucked my thumb with the other hand as I opened my camera.

I saw my cheek was bruised already and a tiny bit of blood came from my nose. Most of it was already dried so I just wiped it away as I lifted my shirt. I had three really big bruises around the height of my ribs and pushed it down again. He did it more often or actually just really frequently.

I kept sucking on my thumb as I curled myself up with my bear in between me. I just wanted to be happy but everyone kept hurting me. I couldn't trust anyone in my life.

Why couldn't I just like my bear? Was it actually so childish to suck your thumb as a seventeen year old? It just calmed me down a lot when I felt anxious and unsafe.

I often even wished to get a pacifier, but I knew people would laugh at me if they would ever find that out. No one even knew I sucked my thumb, they definitely didn't know I would like to get a pacifier as a seventeen year old boy.

When I moved out someday, I would maybe buy one myself and then secretly suck on it when I was alone. I smiled at the comforting thought and sighed softly as I wanted to go outside to use drugs and be less sad.

Even though I was really scared, I left my room and sneaked to the door in the hallway. I heard my dad come up to me and I immediately opened the door and closed it behind me again.

I couldn't run from the pain and took a quiet path this time so no one would judge me as I walked here while I had my thumb in my mouth.

I went to the place I used to go and laid my drugs down to take it again, only this time it felt weird. I had a lot of problems with my heart the last few days, but it got much worse now.

I felt short of breath as I sat back on the ground. I didn't feel okay at all, but didn't know what to do. I didn't want anyone to know that I took drugs, but luckily I didn't take too much.

I waited for a little, but I didn't start feeling any better, only worse. I ended up calling George out of absolute fear.

1047 words

Summary:
Clay's dad beats the shit out of Clay for no reason so we kill him