My Last Hope

7

Warnings:
-Usage drugs/alcohol (needles)

Clay's POV

After school, I immediately went to an uncrowned place close to the park. I sighed softly as I grabbed the bag with drugs. I put the alcohol bottle next to me on the ground, grabbed the needle and the heroin. I didn't have any cocaine left since he only gave me one dose to try it out.

⚠️ Usage drugs (needles)

I stared at the needle in front of me, I knew I had to inject it in a vein, but it kind of scared me too. I cleared my throat and lifted my sleeve after I prepared the needle with the heroin. He told me how to do it and I remembered it luckily.

I took a deep breath and pushed the needle in the vein of my arm. I winced a bit, but then injected the heroin into my arm. I put the needle away and looked in front of me as the effects started to work very quickly. An intense and overwhelming feeling of happiness was the only thing I felt a minute later.

⚠️ Over (no more needles, still drugs)

I started to sweat, but nothing mattered anymore. I was so happy and the world around me seemed fake at this point.

Once the extreme happy feeling went away, I sat down while staring in front of me. I felt extremely calm, so calm that I started to breathe very slowly while my heartbeat went slower too. I was a bit drowsy and my head seemed cloudy. I couldn't think much, I only wanted to sit back.

I grabbed my phone as I started smoking marijuana and drinking some alcohol to text my drug dealer.

You
I used the heroin, can I have more?

Miguel
You'll have to steal for me then. We can start off easy, just some food.

You
Okay, what do I have to do for the combination drugs?

Miguel
You'll have to steal really expensive shit.

You
Okay

Miguel
Are you at the park? I'll come to discuss it.

You
I'm going there now. I'm kinda drunk, high and on heroin though

Miguel
Don't worry, I'll be there in five

I sat back as I drank some more alcohol and stared in front of me again. I reached out for the bag in front of me and grabbed more marijuana, smoking it a minute later while I drank alcohol meanwhile.

I felt my heart beat very irregularly suddenly. It seemed to skip a beat just to beat very fast after that. I took a deep breath and ignored it, concentrating on the bottle of alcohol and marijuana again.

A few minutes later, my drug dealer arrived and he smiled shortly. I felt really slow and looked up at him.

'I have something for you to do. If you want to try the combination drug, including cocaine and heroin at once, you'll have to steal this for me,' he said as he handed me a list. 'I don't want to pay for my dinner.'

I looked at the three things on the list and nodded. It were just some vegetables, potatoes and meat, nothing special.

'Okay,' I mumbled. I was happy to be on drugs and to be drunk because I would have never dared to do this otherwise.

I grabbed the list and walked to the closest store. My heart seemed to be beating in my throat, I was really nervous. I was so nervous that my stomach was hurting a lot. I had never even thought about stealing, but I needed my drugs so badly that I had to.

I took a deep breath as I walked into the store. I went to the right place and looked around me. No one was watching me and I quickly grabbed the things I needed, stuffing them under my hoodie.

I slowly started walking to the exit as I greeted someone at the store. As soon as I was outside, I started running away to my drug dealer and put the things down on the bench he sat on.

'There,' I muttered as I had to sit down because my legs felt so wobbly.

I felt really guilty about stealing, I never expected myself to do such a thing and I wanted to grab the things and put them back as I apologised.

I was about to cry so I grabbed the bottle of alcohol to drink more of it. How did my life ever come to this point? I just wished I was still nine years old. How I used to play with my bear and feel happy. I missed my old life so much, I would do everything I could to go back to that time.

My life was just filled with lies, pain, regrets and fears. I didn't know how much longer I could take this.

'Clay? Are you here? I have the combination drugs for you. Try it out, but make sure that you actually want to. It's really addictive.'

I shrugged. 'I'm addicted to a lot already. This is cocaine and heroin, right?'

He nodded. 'It's really strong drugs.'

I wasn't responding anymore and he stood up to leave me alone with the drugs. I put it in my bag because I was too high and drunk to try it right now.

I grabbed the bottle of alcohol and got sad when I saw it was already halfway empty. I wanted to control myself but I couldn't. I couldn't stop drinking anymore once I started.

I drank the whole bottle again, causing me to throw up multiple times. I sat in the park for hours so I wouldn't be as drunk and high anymore.

It got so overwhelming that I just started crying. I couldn't stop anymore, I couldn't resist myself and smoked more marijuana, just to stand up slowly.

Then as I thought it couldn't get any worse, I was severely wrong. It could get worse and not a little too. My whole life was a hell and I had no idea how I could ever fix this. Maybe it was better if I gave up my lies and got killed. I didn't want this either.

1029 words