When it comes to grief, everybody talks about the big days. It's expected to see the obligatory 'I miss you' posts on holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries. Other than that, people seem annoyed to see those posts on a regular day. Which sucks. Grief is an ongoing emotion, a hole in your heart that's always present. There isn't a second that passes that I don't miss you or Grandpa. It just feels wrong for life to be able to go on without either of you. Even though I notice your empty chairs during holiday gatherings, or cry every 28th of February, it's the regular days that hit me the hardest. It's the random days where random things just send my emotions tumbling.
I've been cleaning the house like no other. My room is pretty much done, my bathroom is done, the linen closet is almost there, and I'm getting somewhere with your room. None of us have really had the heart to clean any of your belongings out, so everybody else's belongings are just piled on top. So far, I haven't done much other than clean off the bookshelf and organize it. But, that in itself is a huge improvement. I'm going to target with Megan tomorrow for storage stuff like baskets and little drawers to finish up under the sinks and all of the closets. You would be so impressed with how far the house has come along. It really fucking sucks that you won't see any of it. It also sucks that you can't help me with it because this has been quite the task. You wouldn't even believe it's the same house.
I love you.
YOU ARE READING
Letters to You
RandomAfter losing my only brother on January 31, 2016, I've decided to write letters to him as if to update him on my life. This is mostly a way for me to let out all of the feelings that I keep inside.
