There are so many things I wish I could say to you. So many questions that will always remain unanswered. I could use your advise on a lot of things. My life has changed so much after losing you. It still doesn't feel real that I'm in college now or have had a dog and a job for 2 years now. I wish more than anything that you could have been with me through all of the things that have happened in the past couple of years. You were so smart and had such a big heart, I know I'm not the only one that misses you every day. On the anniversary of your death, a few days ago, I went to Grandma and Grandpa's house. It still shatters my heart to see them cry. Grandpa usually keeps his words to a minimum (although his face says it all), but Grandma talks enough to make up for it. She even told me she's glad that she's old enough to die soon so she doesn't have to deal with the pain of losing you for much longer.
On a happier note, I don't know if you'd even remember him but I started seeing my first boyfriend from high school again. I know for a fact you would not approve of the guys I've been seeing lately, which is probably why none of them lasted very long. You would've kicked a lot of asses. But, luckily Peyton isn't like that. I've never been treated like such a princess. Mom and Dad love him, Dad's even planning a camping trip with him. Grandma is excited that he had blond hair and blue eyes. I wish you could see what the future holds between us because I sure am pretty excited.
It's been pretty hard on me seeing all of the 'memories' on facebook of everyone saying they're sorry for my loss and everything. I've gotten so used to bottling up my feelings I couldn't even cry it out. I don't think anyone really understands how hard this has really been on me except my friends and obviously our family. I love my friends for giving me so much support, I really rely on them. I'm glad that none of them have ever lost a sibling and I hate that Carly lost Elliott, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't make it easier for us to talk about it with each other.
I miss you more and more every day ❤️
YOU ARE READING
Letters to You
RandomAfter losing my only brother on January 31, 2016, I've decided to write letters to him as if to update him on my life. This is mostly a way for me to let out all of the feelings that I keep inside.
