Awake My Soul - Ereri

Chapter 9 - Don't

Eren shook with anger the whole way back to his house. When Levi pulled up outside Eren's house he grabbed Eren's hand.

"Calm down, it's okay." He cooed. This only made Eren more infuriated. Through all his anger, Eren could only say one word without screaming at Levi.

"Don't"

"Don't what."

"Don't touch me, don't kiss me, don't talk to me, don't text me, don't call me, just... don't" Eren was trying really hard not to punch Levi in the face.

"Fine." Levi was back in his bored, composed self. That lack of emotion led to Eren punching Levi in the face.

"What the fuck?" He'd made Levi mad. Good. Eren got out of the car without saying anything, slamming the door behind him, he'd walked to the door and was about to walk in when he heard a door open and slam from the car he'd just left. Eren walked into his house.

"Hey, Eren how was your- Oh my god, your face." Mikasa said her hands around his cheeks; Levi came in the house behind him.

"Did you have to follow me?" Eren yelled, Mikasa looked at Levi, shocked. There was blood running out his nose.

"What did you do?" she demanded walking to Levi.

"You know what I did? I saved your brother from getting his sorry little ass kicked, when he decided to start a fight." He was yelling, Eren had never heard Levi yell before.

"What happened?" she asked Eren.

"Nothing."

"Why would you start a fight, you idiot, look at yourself? I can't believe you, what did they do?"

"They called him a faggot." Levi but in, his voice bored again.

"What are you even doing in my house, leave!" Eren yelled pushing Levi outside. Levi pulled Eren's hands off him.

"You know I don't care right? So what, you want to end whatever little game we're playing? I've got someone else who can take your place like this. You may think your special Jaeger, that you're the only one. But in reality you're just like all the others." Levi was using his bored seductive drawl, but the words he used cut Eren in half. He knew that it wasn't the truth, he could read it in Levi's face, but it didn't make it hurt any less.

"Go fuck yourself." Eren spit, slamming the door in his face. He probably should've said something a lot cooler, a lot more controlled to make Levi think he didn't care, but he'd already said it now and he couldn't turn back time. Eren turned around to a very shocked Mikasa, who was standing there with her hand to her mouth.

"Eren." She said, Eren walked up to her and she wrapped her arms around him. He didn't want to cry, he wasn't going to. But he did, heavy sobs as Mikasa held him in her arms.

"I don't want to do this again."

"I know." She said patting Eren's head.

"Why can't I just be straight? I'm so fucking done with this shit."

"Eren, you can't change yourself, just because some people don't like who you are."

"I want to if it means I have to feel like this."

Mikasa felt sick, If Eren's situation got any worse she would have to tell their parents, there was no way that she was going to let Eren get hurt again. Eren had gone to bed a while ago, and Mikasa had spent the whole time pacing. She didn't know what to do. She understood why Eren had done what he'd done to Levi, why he was pushing him away, but Eren needed everyone he could possibly have on his side, Eren didn't know Levi like Mikasa did, he could ruin Eren's life if he wanted to, if Eren pissed him off that much. Mikasa didn't know what to do. She decided that she should probably talk to Levi, even if Eren would kill her when he found out. She snuck into Eren's room, he was fast asleep, and took his phone. She pressed Levi's contact and waited for him to pick up. She thought he wasn't going to, he let it ring that long. There was a pause.

"What the fuck do you want Jaeger?" Even over the phone Mikasa could tell that Levi was tense, it only made her more worried that he would hurt Eren more.

"It's Mikasa."

"Why are you calling me?" He sounded tired, not to mention the fact that he sighed dramatically at the end of the question. Mikasa chose her words carefully.

"Look you don't understand what it's like for Eren."

"I don't understand what it's like to be gay? In case you've forgotten Mikasa I like boys too. Even if it isn't selectively boys."

"No that's not what I meant. You don't understand what it was like for Eren before he came here, okay? You have no idea how hard it was for him, how hard it was for all of us."

"It was hard for me at the beginning too, I thought you would remember."

"No, not as bad, this was really, really bad. It started off small, how it is now. The comments and the messages and groups of people ganging up on him. And then he started getting threats, online, in his locker, letters at the house. It was a small town, they were against it, and it was weird to them and their weird traditions and stuff. When Mum and Dad found out they called the police, but they didn't do anything. And then one day, no one was really expecting anyone to try anything, but they did. And we get a call, from the hospital or something and they just found him there and..." Mikasa's voice choked, "They tried to kill him." She didn't say anything, just put her hand to her head, she felt like crying.

"But you don't care I don't know why I'm even telling you this." The phone is quiet for a long time and Mikasa might have thought Levi had hung up, if it wasn't for the static noise. After a few minutes there was a shaky breath from the other side.

"Shit." Mikasa didn't say anything in reply.

"Did-Did you want me to like talk to him or something?"

"No, don't. I just don't want you to play games, or manipulate him. Don't make it any worse, he's already dealing with enough."

"Why does everybody think I'm playing games with him, I'm fucking not okay?" Levi yelled, Mikasa was a bit shocked. She thought that he probably hadn't meant to say that.

"Sorry." She said.

"It's fine, whatever I'll do what you want, I would've without the call anyway, I'm not that much of a dick." He said before hanging up.

Levi felt like throwing his phone. He felt like destroying everything he ever owned. He hated himself; he hated everything he had done over the last couple of months. If he'd controlled himself then Eren wouldn't be in this situation. But Levi couldn't think like that, Eren could have turned Levi away, could've avoided him, He didn't have to do the things they did together, but he had and that wasn't Levi's fault. He was ready to leave it back in that car, apologise and then move on like nothing ever happened, but Eren had pushed it further. It wasn't all Levi's fault. But it felt like it was. Levi would break everything he owned at this moment, was it not for the fact that he would have to clean it up afterwards. Besides it wouldn't make him feel any better. Nothing would. He'd tried to drink a cup of tea to calm him after Mikasa called but his hands were shaking too much to actually drink it, without spilling it everywhere. It hadn't made him feel calmer at all. He was a mix of nerves and anger, which he assumed should probably never go together, due to the state of his body. Levi was usually good at hiding his emotions, with that bored look and that bored voice, but he could not suppress his feelings at the moment, and it was killing him. He assumed that he should probably be trying to sleep, although he didn't know how well he'd be able to. But he turned off his light anyway and closed his eyes, hoping for any sleep at all.

"How are you feeling this morning?" It was Mikasa, Eren opened his eyes, he was hoping for another few moments of sleep, but Mikasa could always tell when he was faking it.

"Like shit." There was no point in lying to her.

"Scoot over." He moved closer to the wall, leaving room for her to fit into the bed next to him. She didn't say anything, and she didn't need to, her presence was enough to calm him, thank god it was a Saturday and Eren didn't have to do anything. He just laid there, Mikasa next to him.

A/N: So i know it isn't a tuesday or friday but i felt like updating so you get a mid week chapter because yeah! cool fun awesome! hope you guys are having a great week!