Awake My Soul - Ereri

Chapter 27 - A Choice with Many Regrets

"God Levi, what have you done?" Petra groaned upon walking into Levi's house. The boy in question was lying on the couch, upside down. "You call me in the middle of the night, and I come into your house to find this, what happened?" Levi didn't actually remember calling Petra last night, or any of the events that happened yesterday, except for the one he wanted to forget unfortunately.

"I got bored." Levi murmured to a frowning Petra, turning right side up. His head spun and he gripped the lounge for support.

"So you got wasted. By yourself I must mention. Are you an idiot?"

"Tsk." Levi rolled his eyes.

"Well I'm starting to think that you are. You could've died. And nobody would have been here to take your alcohol-poisoned ass to the hospital. I think that classifies for being an idiot." She huffed, walking over to the lounge, where Levi was situated.

"Like I care." He muttered pressing his fingertips against his pounding head.

"Like you care!" Petra's hand struck his face. Her face was livid. "Think about your parents Levi! Think about us, your best friends! For god's sake think about Eren! Do you know how distraught that boy would be, how distraught we'd all be if you went ahead and killed yourself? No you probably don't because you're too caught up in your own wasted mind to care about anybody else!" Petra took a deep breath and stood back as she stared at Levi. Her face softened.

"I'll call Eren to come snap you out of whatever this is. Your parents gone away again? You and Erwin fight? Whatever it is I'm sure he'll help." Petra brought out her phone to call the last person Levi wanted to see today.

"No! Don't!" Levi exclaimed, jumping up off the lounge.

"Why not?" Petra frowned. Levi didn't want to tell her, he didn't want her to scold him anymore than she already had this morning.

"I don't want him to see me like this." Levi wasn't completely lying, just omitting the truth.

"Okay, well I better help you up to the bathroom then."

Levi had come to the conclusion, as he stared at the grey, tiled shower wall, that he was a good for nothing dick, who probably found enjoyment in hurting others. And oh had he hurt Eren; his face kept playing in his mind and Levi watched himself break Eren's heart again and again, each time more painful to him than the last. But he'd made his decision; there was no turning back. As much as it hurt Levi to let Eren go, it would hurt a lot more in the future, when Eren had found someone more desirable than Levi to be with. When Levi had installed all his love and trust into Eren, only for it to be ripped from him eventually. Levi didn't know if he would be able to handle that. But god, did he hate himself right now for breaking Eren? Maybe Petra was right? Maybe he did break everything he touched? He felt like screaming, but he couldn't, not with Petra on the other side of his bathroom door. But he did punch his shower wall, and regretted that almost immediately, due to the amount of pain rushing up his arm. His knuckles were bleeding and he was pretty sure he'd broken something. He involuntarily let out a pained yell.

"Levi? Are you okay?" Petra called from behind the door. His hand hurt too much to speak. "Oh my god, okay I'm coming in, please cover yourself with something." He heard her say. He shut off the water and tried to wrap a towel around his waist with one hand. Petra walked into the bathroom, her hand over her eyes.

"You can look." Levi muttered.

"Are you decent?" Petra questioned.

"On what level do you mean that? If you're asking if I'm a decent human being then the answer is a definite no. But if you're asking whether or not I'm standing stark naked-"