Awake My Soul - Ereri

Chapter 31 - Wasted

Eren woke up the morning after the party; feeling like his head was going to explode, had he really done that? Why did he think it was a good idea to make out with Reiner? It hadn't been, he felt sick from the amount of stupid decisions he'd made last night. He hated the fact that the alcohol took away his control and his ability to make good decisions, but that night was that night was the first time that he'd been able to get his mind off Levi. When he was intoxicated, when he was kissing Reiner, Levi wasn't on his mind; it was as if he almost hadn't existed. So to wake up and to think about the things he'd done as well as feel a tidal wave of emotion over Levi was overwhelming to say the least. So Eren had done the only thing he thought could make him feel better, drink more. He remembered calling Armin to come meet him in the park that afternoon, and although Armin was hesitant, the two boys ended up drinking beers at the park, laughing and running around like idiots. When they lay down on the grass, looking up at the sunset, Armin leaned over to Eren.

"Are you okay?" the smaller blond boy asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine, great actually. This is fun." Eren laughed. Armin ended up laughing too. He quickly calmed down and sighed.

"But seriously... Are you okay? Like with the whole Levi thing?" Eren tensed.

"Why did you have to ask? I don't want to think about him, that's why... why.... It doesn't matter, let's not discuss that."

"Sorry, it's fine if you don't want to talk."

"It's fine, let's just lie here." Eren smiled "I feel extremely happy right now."

"That's good" Armin muttered, but in his drunken state, Eren missed the sombre undertone, he also missed the 'I wish it hadn't taken alcohol to get you this way' that Armin muttered under his breath as the two lay there. Even if he had, it wouldn't have mattered to Eren who gripped his best friend's hand as they looked at the slowly darkening sky and the stars it contained.

Over the next few weeks Eren dragged Armin to the park again and drank, Armin didn't a lot of the time. As the days dragged on Eren could practically feel the disapproving looks that Armin shot at him. But funnily enough Eren didn't care. He just wanted somebody to sit with him, so he wasn't alone. It was a Monday night and nearing 6:00 when Armin stood up.

"Where are you going?" Eren asked Armin.

"Home. For dinner." Eren grabbed onto Armin's arm.

"Don't leave, stay a little longer."

"I can't, Gramps has been wondering where I'm going every afternoon, I have to go home. Aren't your parents worried about you?"

"Not really." Eren shrugged, taking another sip of his beer.

"Well what about Mikasa?"

"Thinks I'm studying at your house."

"We should be studying at my house, not in the park getting wasted. This isn't fun anymore Eren. If this is about-"

"Don't say his name." Eren growled. He gulped down the last of his drink.

"Eren."

"Stop that, I'm fine."

"You're sitting here getting wasted in an attempt to forget about it all, you drag my ass down here, putting myself as well as you at risk of being caught." Armin yelled. "I'm not going to sit around and let you get addicted to that shitty stuff, just because you've gotten your heart broken! Eat ice-cream, cry, do anything but this, please Eren."

"I don't need your permission." Eren glared, "If you don't like it, go." And that's exactly what Armin did; leaving Eren sitting alone on the ground as the sky above him darkened.