Finding Her Inner Self

Chapter Fifty Nine✨

                 ||Chapter Fifty Nine||

Kolade
I opened my eyes, my body feeling so relaxed and light. Last night was amazing, it's true what they say about sex being memorable when you do it with the one you deeply love and care about.

I kissed her forehead, admiring how beautiful she looked asleep before fully sitting up on my bed yawning. I sighted Tobi's diary on the couch as I got out of my bed and walked towards the couch deciding to read it.

I sat down on the couch opening it up gathering enough courage to find out my formal best friend's secrets.

Day 1- 02/03/2015
Dear diary,
Yesterday was amazing because Dayo gave me this journal as my birthday present. It was really thoughtful of him because I do need something to write my thoughts in because I feel if I don't I might actually go crazy.. I need somewhere to escape, with mum and dad always fighting and the fact that I'm extremely sick I need as much space away from my reality. Thanks so much dayo, you're the bestest friend I could ever ask for.

I flipped to the next page, it was obvious Tobi got this diary for his fifteenth birthday. I was already in his life and it doesn't say anything really important.

Day 2- 03/04/2015
Dear diary,
Kolade came today to see me, it would have been really bad if the doctor hadn't left right on time.. I really don't want him to see me sick and fighting for my life. It would break him so much because I'm his only friend and he cares about me so much.. it kills me to keep my sickness a secret from him but I feel it's much more better because he has been through so much.. I don't want to add to his suffering, I honestly adore Kola. He's the reason why I want to get better because I want to do so much with him, I want us to graduate high school together and go to college together.. I want to teach him the acts on flirting and also get him a really beautiful girlfriend.. but I don't think I'm ever going to live up to that moment.. life sucks!

I smiled a bit as I flipped to the next page..

Day 03- 10/06/2015
Dear diary..
Dayo likes me!!
Like not as in friends kind of like, you know as in like like.. he confessed today while we were both going home together.. to say I'm surprised is an understatement! I mean how come?
Does Dayo really swing the other way?.. how am I supposed to feel about this.. he's my best friend.. I don't want to hurt his feelings.. ugh I'm so confused!

Wait up.. Tobi wasn't gay?!
Was it Dayo all from the very beginning??.. something's not right.. I flipped open the second page wanting to know the full truth.

Day 04- 12/05/2021
Dear diary
Dayo keeps making moves on me and Kola seems to see that something's up! How am I gonna explain to Kola that Dayo might be gay. He would be so confused and surprised by the news.. Dayo showed up at my house last night and.. and he kissed me and it felt kind of nice but I'm not gay! And I really don't want to be.. what should I do? Should I just play along? I mean he might eventually grow out of his stupid feelings.. it might just be a phase right?? Right??

Day 05- 17/05/2015
Dear diary,
I think I have a crush on emelda. She's just so adorable I mean how can a girl look so cute.. she's smart and quirky but everytime I try to talk to her I get really shy and nervous and really quiet. Girls don't like that, sigh.. I would ask Kola but he has gynophobia and anything girls seriously freak him out and Dayo seems to have a thing for boys and well me! Life!!!