In Flames Extras

Tell me if I'll ever know a blessing in disguise

A/N: spoilers for tonight's ep. as per usual. Title inspired by the song in the ep tonight that I have loved for years called "The Curse" by Agnes Obel. This is just tooth-rotting fluff. I think we all deserve it at this point.

He doesn't remember feeling the warm hands encircling around his own. All he could make sense of in that moment was the steady pulse that beat under the skin of her wrists and the confident steps she took as she walked him away from the screaming parents in the hall. Eddie didn't feel himself take a breath until his back collided with lockers and he slid down onto the bench.

Bright yellow crocs appeared in his line of sight and he bowed his head, relief bubbling up in him like a volcano about to erupt. Calloused palms cupped his cheeks and drew his head up so she could see his eyes.

"Hi," she whispered. "I'm gonna clean you up real quick, okay?"

He wordlessly nodded and shut his eyes as Mariana disappeared for a second and returned with a damp cloth in her hands. He settled his hands on her hips as she dragged the cool fabric across his neck, her other hand carding through the short hair at the nape of his neck. Eddie pressed his forehead against her stomach and she let out a quiet hum.

"Been working for hours in an ER, baby. Gimme a second," Mari murmured. She bent down and kissed the top of his head before carefully extracting herself from his arms. The brunette yanked off her scrub top and tossed it into a biohazard bin, leaving her in just a sports bra. She still had on her scrub pants and a pink scrub cap on, but she quickly removed her cap and tossed it onto a bench.

"Saw you when we came in but didn't have a chance to say hi," he said as a way to ignore the elephant in the room that was also sitting on his chest.

"I know. I saw you too. You did good." She came to stand in between his knees and crouched down so she could see his face. Mariana offered him a sad smile and gathered his hands in hers. She pressed her lips to his calloused knuckles and he shut his eyes at the gentle touch.

"You're allowed to feel," she murmured. He nodded and leaned forward, his hand sliding along her jaw as his thumb brushed against her bottom lip. Mariana shut her eyes and pressed her forehead against his, one hand holding the back of his neck and the other resting over his heart. "You have such a big heart, Eddie. That's why it hurts so much."

"I just keep thinking about the kids. If that was one of ours. I-"

He clamped his mouth shut to cut off any emotion that might escape him and she opened her eyes to look at him and see right through the wall he was building around his mind.

"Sometimes I get patients that call me mom in the middle of their pain. Those are the nights I call you on my break-"

"And I always answer. No matter how late it is."

"It hurts. It always hurts. We want to take their pain away but we can't and it's so frustrating for people like us. We can't save the world, no matter how hard we try. But we can give them just the tiniest ounce of comfort in their moment of need."

He met her gaze and pursed his lips together in the way she knew he did when he was trying to hold tears at bay. Mariana rubbed her thumb against his temple in soothing circles.

"We're okay. The kids are okay. You're okay. Just a few more hours on this shift and then you'll be home. Think you can manage that?"

He was able to hold out for a few more hours and found himself grateful to come home to the chaos that was his family. The boys were giggling about something at the dinner table as pots and pans clashed together in the kitchen. Eddie dropped his duffle bag by the door and pressed a kiss to Christopher and Diego's heads as he passed them.