In Flames Extras

Outside Looking In

A/N: this is short but i needed to get it out of my system. SPOILERS FOR TONIGHTS EPISODE.

THIS STARTS OFF MORE MATURE THAN NORMAL. IF YOU WANNA SKIP IT, FIND THE ///.

"But then if you're so smart

Tell me why are you still so afraid, hmm?

Where's the fire, what's the hurry about?

You'd better cool it off before you burn it out"

A hand slapped against the nightstand before shutting off the alarm clock. That hand then trailed down, fingers tangling in the short brown hair that rested in between her legs. Mariana clamped her other hand over her mouth in an attempt to stay silent. He grinned, pausing his work just for a moment to take in the sight of his wife before him.

"If you don't keep going, I'll leave you high and dry with blue fucking balls," she gasped out behind her hand. "How much do you like your hand? Because it's just gonna be you and your hand if you don-"

She cut off with a gasp and promptly shut her mouth to swallow the sounds that threatened to escape her. Mariana shut her eyes and threw her head back, giving him a clear view of the soft skin of her throat as he coached her through her high.

"Holy shit," she breathed, finally letting her hand fall to her side. Eddie chuckled and stood from where he was kneeling. She raised her head, drinking in the sight of his shirtless chest. Mari turned her head to look at the time on the alarm clock and then back up at her husband. She bit her bottom lip and raised an eyebrow.

"We have twenty minutes before we technically need to get up," she pointed out.

"Uh huh? What do you have in mind?"

Her grin widened as she crooked a finger at him. Eddie didn't even hesitate before he climbed onto the bed.

///

"I shouldn't complain, right?" Mariana sighed. "I mean...he's home more often with the kids, he has a steady job, he isn't in danger in the field, he's learning to cook for fuck's sake, and the sex has never been better. I mean, seriously, it's like he's made it a competition with himself."

"I sense a but in there," Leslie drawled out as she passed her another chart.

"Buuut I miss him in the field. I miss knowing he's right there. I miss feeling safe because I know he has my back. Believe me, I always know that Buck has me, but Eddie...he's my husband, y'know? We made vows before and after we got married to do everything we could to protect the other in the field. And I miss that."

Mariana sighed and tossed the chart onto the counter before she leaned back in her chair, staring at the ceiling. "I see him more than I've ever seen him, but it feels like there's this widening gulf between us. I need him safe, but I want him beside me in the same job that he got shot in. I worry about him, both now and then. I'm failing as a wife."

"You're not failing as a wife," Leslie chastised. "It's normal to feel conflicted. Mariana, you and Eddie experienced a horrific trauma, one that you have already experienced both as the victim and with Luis. But you got help. What he needs to do is talk to someone. I'm right and you know it."

Mariana nodded, blinking back the sudden burn of tears. "I'm scared that he's slipping and there's nothing I'll be able to do to pull him back this time. I have the kids to worry about and if he refuses to get help..."

"You'll take care of the kids, which is exactly what he would want you to do. You're an excellent mother, Mariana, and a devoted wife. But you're also a daughter and a sister and you don't have to do this alone. Have you talked to Bobby or Athena?"

"No..." Mariana laughed dryly. "Hey mom, I'm worried about my husband's mental state, my nephew is having nightmares about my dead aunt, and Hope is learning to climb stairs and it gives me a fucking heart attack everytime. I don't know how to get Eddie to open up to me. What would you do?"

Leslie nodded as if that was the answer to everything. "Perfect. Text her now and go get some coffee after your shift. Your house husband can take care of the kids."

Mariana stared at her phone that rested on the desk and then sighed, picking it up and sending a quick text to Athena. Maybe Leslie was right.