She's Coming Home

Meeting Shay

Gabby- hi
Matt- hi, how are you?
Gabby- good
Matt- when did you get off the vent?
Gabby- hour ago
Matt- wow, I thought that wasn't going to happen for a few weeks
I look at Nat
Nat- that was the plan, but you know how Dawson feels about following someone's plan!
She jokes
Nat- I'll be out here in a minute so you can talk, I just need to hook up her feed
Matt- ok, do you want me to come back?
Gabby- it's fine it my stomach you seen it before
Matt- I know I just...
Gabby- it's fine Matt
Nat lifts my shirt to connect the feed bag to my tube and Matt stares at all the scars on my abdomen
Gabby- Nat leave shirt
Nat- ok, I'm going to leave you to talk. Matt if her SATs drop at all push the call button, Gabby if it gets hard to breathe tell him to push the call button. Other than that you should be fine. Matt just tell someone when you leave so someone comes in to monitor her.
We both say ok and she leaves, closing the door.
Gabby- it's ok come here
He's still staring at my scars but seems scared to come near me. I start telling him what they all are, it takes a long time but he just stands there staring.
Gabby- baby 1, rebleed, baby 2 c-section, aneurysm, this accident bleeding, tube.
I have a lot of scars, I don't think about them much, I try not to, I never let anyone see my stomach and now I have even more scars from this accident, I had surgery in Puerto Rico for internal bleeding and then again here and med to place the tube. And then there's that, the giant tube sticking out of my stomach. He's still staring.
Gabby- sorry ugly. Can you put shirt down
Matt- Gabby you're not ugly, you're strong. You carried both our babies for as long as you could. It's just a lot to take in and I hate seeing you hurt and knowing that you were hurt and I wasn't there for you.
Gabby- you can touch me
Matt- I don't want to hurt you
Gabby- you won't, just don't pull if I spasm and you not hurt me
He comes closer, pulls my shirt down and puts his hand over mine.
Gabby- I wrote you letter. This is slow so April help write a few days. On table.
He gets up and finds the letter and comes to sit next to me to read it. I get my next message ready while he reads the letter explaining everything and apologizing for not telling him. I notice he's finished.
Gabby- our daughter's name is Shay Elizabeth Casey-Dawson. She said her first word the day after my accident, mama. You can ask me anything just be patient, it takes me a long time to answer.
Matt- so she's deaf, do you know why.
Gabby- not sure, maybe from being a preemie. You need learn sign, Tonio will show you all the resources.
Matt- ok, of course, I'll start learning right away. I heard her saying mama, the first time I saw her. Do you have pictures and videos of her growing up?
Gabby- my phone destroyed, Tonio have some. He will send you
Matt- ok
I kept answering his questions for a while then said
Gabby- are you ready to meet your daughter?
Matt- yes
Gabby- ok, can you ask Antonio to bring her and give me few minutes talk to her.
Matt- of course. How do you talk to her?
Gabby- used to sign, now need Tonio interpret. I hate it. She has CIs but not understand computer voice.
Matt- sorry, that must be hard
Gabby- yes.
He left and Antonio and Shay came in. Tonio put her on my bed but made her sit up so we could talk.
Gabby- Shay remember when I told you about dada who lives far away and fight fires?
Antonio interprets
Shay(signs)- yes dada
Gabby- well we came far when I got hurt, dada is here
Shay(signs)- dada here
Gabby- yes and we wants to meet you, are you ready to meet dada
Shay(signs)- mama stay
Gabby- mama's not going anywhere. Come snuggles and you can meet dada.
She climbs on me and buries her head in my shoulder, her favourite spot then pops back up again.
Shay(signs)- oh no mama breathe
Me and Tonio giggle, she's been told so many times when she climbs on me like this that she can't touch the vent because it helps me breathe and she's just noticed it's not there!
Antonio(signs)- it's ok, mama breathe by herself now
She looks back at me and claps
Shay(signs)- good job mama
She tries to snuggle back into my shoulder but Antonio turns her around so she's facing out and then texts Casey.
Gabby- sorry take so long
Antonio- Shay noticed she didn't have the vent and got very concerned about her mama's breathing!
Gabby- my mini PIC
We all laugh
Gabby- Shay meet dada
Matt- hi baby girl, nice to meet you
Antonio is interpreting for both of us
Shay(signs)- hi dada
I interpret for her, it would be faster if I let Tonio do that too but I want to do as much as possible.
Gabby- can you go give dada a hug
Shay(signs)- ok mama stay here I come back soon.
Matt- it's ok, she's never met me before
Gabby- no she come. Just make sure I stay here, not sure where she thinks I'm going
We laugh at that and Shay crawls to the end of my bed and stands up holding her arms out to Matt. We he doesn't immediately take her she signs dada up
Gabby- dada up
Matt picks her up and she wraps her arms around his neck and snuggles into him. She stays there for a minute before saying something that cracks me and Antonio up, and Matt too when we stop laughing enough to tell him.
Shay(signs)- ok finished. Mama need snuggles. You can stay
We start laughing
Matt- what?
Antonio- apparently Gabby needs snuggles but you can stay.
Matt puts her down next to me very carefully and chuckles.
Matt- so she's bossy just like her mom
Antonio- definitely!
Gabby- hey I'm not that bad
Antonio- sure sis, whatever you say
Gabby- you just wait till I get up and can hit you
Antonio- ok, sorry
He jokingly puts his hands up in surrender
Gabby- too bad, I hit you anyways, been too long
Antonio- no fair!
Matt notices Shay squirmy around on me and gets concerned
Matt- are you ok Gabby, do you need me to take her back
Gabby- I'm fine stop worrying
Antonio- we're not going to stop worrying, you get to be unconscious for all the scary parts. We have to watch
Gabby- I know but right now I'm fine
We hung out for a while, Antonio starting to teach Matt some signs which Shay of course had to get in on. Then April and my therapists came in with the wheelchair and braces.
Antonio- ok Matt, this is when she kicks everyone out
Gabby- wait. What do today
Kate- same as last time, braces on then up in the chair and we'll see what you can do today
Janet- and check to see if the new headrest works
Gabby- walk again
April- yes but you're still not leaving the building
Gabby- ok you can stay if want. Matt want tell 51 Shay
Matt- if you're ok with that I'd love to
Gabby- yes family
Matt- do you want to tell them today when you're up
Gabby- shift
Matt- they could bring the rigs and leave if they get a call
Gabby- ok, you call them
Matt- sure I'll just say you want to see them, be back in a minute.
Liam- ok, time for your wrist braces
Gabby- ok
Kate- Antonio do you want to see how we put them on, she's supposed to wear them as much as possible so it won't always be use doing this
Antonio- sure if it's ok with Gabby
Gabby- yes