She's Coming Home

The first incounter with ableism

Gabby POV
It's been a bit over a week since I woke up after surgery. Today is 2 months since my injury. 2 months since I came home, 2 months in the ICU. I can usually go all day without oxygen now and we're working on getting me off the vent at night but so far that's not happening. My hands, wrists and ankles have been looser since the Botox which also means less pain, well less pain there. My stomach still hurts all the time. Yesterday my PICC line clotted which is how I was getting the TPN so I started feeds again but it hurts like crazy. I can only tolerate 5mls an hour and they don't want to push it and rupture my stomach or something. I'm on a feed right now and I'm just trying to distract myself from the pain. Everyone's working so I'm by myself, I've had to be really careful about not trying to move and not get excited so I don't start moving all over. Today I'm finally getting back in my wheelchair which is exciting because I'll get to leave my room but I'm also scared because it's going to hurt.  A few hours later everyone came in for PT.

Kate- you ready to get up?
Gabby- ya
Janet- what's going on you don't seem happy about this.
Gabby- 2 months
Kate- what
Gabby- it's been 2 months I can barely hold my head up
Kate- Gabby you have made so much progress in those 2 months and as soon as your doctors clear it we'll start doing more again. But for today you can get back in your chair and get out of your room.
Gabby- ok. Can you get Nat or April.
Janet- I'll go find one of them.
She comes back with Maggie
Maggie- hey, I was in the hall, what do you need?
Gabby- hi Maggie. Can you disconnect my feed before they move me. Don't want it pulled on
Maggie- of course
She pauses the pump and disconnects the extension from my tube. She's being as gentle as she can but moving it at all hurts and makes me tense which just makes it hurt more.
Maggie- sorry Gabby
Gabby- not your fault, it always hurts. Ok I'm ready.

They lift me into my chair. It hurts but not as much as I expected. Kate does up my seatbelt but before they put on the chest harness Maggie comes over
Maggie- can I check your incision, just make sure it didn't open when you moved.
I look at her since Janet is still moving my eye gaze. She lifts up my shirt, peels back the bandage and checks it out.
Maggie- looks ok, someone will check it again when your back in bed.
Gabby- ok
She hooks my feed back up and leaves. They start putting my chest harness on so I can sit up. It goes over my tube.
Gabby- stop hurt stop
Kate- what hurts?
Gabby- tube. Chest harness
thank you Lisa for the equipment page so I didn't have to type that out
Gabby- pushes on tube and hurts. Can't do it.
They take it back off as soon as I say it's what's hurting me.
Janet- ok, let me go see what we could use instead because you need trunk support to be upright. You can sit up a bit more while you wait.
Gabby- ok thanks
She came back a little while later with a chest strap and attaches it to my chairs. It just goes across my chest so it doesn't touch my stomach. She does it up and sits me up. I slouch forward a bit, it supports me a lot less than the harness. Kate puts my arms on the tray so I can push my head up. I manage to lift it a bit but it falls again. Janet tilts me back again and picks my head up.
Janet- ok so you'll stay tilted back a bit today and we'll find something better for tomorrow. I'm going to go find a nurse so we can go on a walk.
This time she comes back with April

April- hey! How does it feel to be up.
Gabby- sore and not sit up
Kate- we'll find a solution, this is just for today.
April's looking confused.
Gabby- chest harness hurts chest strap I fall forward can't keep my head up. Need to stay tilted back.
April- you just need time to heal from surgery. Let's go for a walk
Gabby- ok
They take me outside. It's only the second time I've been outside and the first time was at night. It feels great to be out again, I start moving around a bit and it doesn't hurt too much. We walk around outside the hospital for a few minutes then go out to the sidewalk to go around the block. I'm enjoying looking around until I notice people staring at me as they walk by. I try to ignore them until this lady starts talking to me like I'm a baby.
Lady- hello! What's her name?
She asks April.
Gabby- my name is Gabby and I can speak for myself.
Lady- oh, good job!
She touches my arm. I jerk away from her which starts all my movements which hurts but I'm too mad to care.
Lady- look at you moving so much!
Gabby- F off I'm not a child. Leave me alone.
Lady- now there's no reason to be rude...
I hit her, accidentally but I'm quite happy about it. She's pissed.
Lady- you need to apologize right now!
Gabby- no
April- she can't control her movements.
Lady- well she shouldn't be outside if she's going to go around hitting people, she hurt me!
April- she IS hurt and it's not her fault you were in her space even after she told you to leave. She can't control her movements because she got hurt saving people, what she's been doing for years.
Gabby- April want go inside.
She starts pushing me towards the ED doors since they're the closest and the lady follows us still ranting about being hurt. She follows us into the ED waiting room and trying to keep following us into the ED but Maggie stops her.
Maggie- hey, patients and visitors only
Lady- your patient hit me!
Goodwin walks over when she hears the yelling.
Goodwin- what's the problem here?
Maggie- not really sure
Lady- she assaulted me!
April- that is not what happened.
Lady- I wasn't talking to you!
Maggie- Gabby hit you?
Lady- yes, I was just trying to be nice and she was rude and then hit me!
Gabby- you not nice and can't control it
I'm still moving a lot, it's hard to use my device when my head's moving this much and my stomach is starting to hurt a lot more.
Goodwin- Gabby what happened?
Gabby- can't moving hard hurt
As soon as I said that they all completely ignored the lady.
Maggie- what hurts? Your stomach?
I look at her
Maggie- bay 2 is open. Nat, bay 2 with Gabby.
They bring me in there and transfer me to the stretcher. The lady follows us still ranting. She shuts her mouth when Nat pulls my shirt up and takes off the bandages revealing my scar covered abdomen with the most recent one bleeding. Usually I hate people seeing this but if it's going to shut her up she can stare.
Nat- Gabby you got to worked up, you're moving too much, you reopened your incision.
I look at April.
April- it's not her fault, she was doing great at staying calm so she didn't move too much until that lady showed up.
Nat- ms Goodwin, please get her out of here. We need to get Gabby calm so she can stop moving.
Goodwin forces the angry lady all the way out to the waiting room.

Maggie- ok now that she's gone we need the whole story! Was it really an accident? Sounds like a classic Dawson move.
We laugh but I stop because it hurts and then I spasm which makes it hurt more.
Nat- ok, I know it hurts, Maggie can you get her some pain meds? Let's just try Tylenol to start. IV Tylenol, her stomach needs a break.
She went to get the meds while Nat cleaned the incision and then started poking around to see how much it had opened.
Nat- it looks ok but I want to check for bleeding in your stomach.
April- she's been on a feed hour a few hours so there will be fluid in her stomach, how are you going to tell if it's blood?
Nat- by looking for blood
She disconnected my feed and hooked my tube up to a bag to drain my stomach, what I'd been on all the time until yesterday.
Nat- we'll let your stomach drain for a while and keep checking for any blood in the bag. I'll give you IV Tylenol for the pain then hook you up to a banana bag to keep you hydrated. If there's no blood we'll start your feed again in a few hours.
I look at her. She gives me the meds and sets up the IV.
Nat- you shouldn't need stitches but we'll keep an eye on it. I'm just going to put some steri-strips on to keep it closed and then a new bandage.
She gets it all cleaned up.
Nat- ready to get back in your chair to go back to your room.
I look away. I don't think I can go back in my chair, it hurts and I'm tired.
Nat- can't get up again? We can take you back to your room on the gurney if you want.
I look at her
Nat- ok, that's fine. Let's go.
They all bring me back to my room because my chair needs to come back too. Once I'm back in bed and have my device again they all want my side of the story.
Maggie- so come on, tell us what happened.
Gabby- she started talking to me like a baby and asking April questions about me. I told her to F off and she didn't. She touched my arm and I pulled away which started all my movements which lead to my arm hitting her. Sadly not on purpose but I'm quite happy about it.
Nat- nice, I'm sure Goodwin's dealt with her by now.
Goodwin- she has. How are you Gabby?
Gabby- hurts but fine. Thanks
Goodwin- of course, dealing with people like her is part of my job.
Nat- ok. We'll keep checking the drain for blood for an hour and if there's nothing we'll set your feed up again.
I get Nat to set up FaceTime with Maya before she leaves and I talk to her for a while.