She's Coming Home

Standing

Gabby POV
Maya- she worries a lot
Gabby- I get it
Maya puts her backpack on her wheelchair and gets in it. I look at her
Maya- ya, she was right, I just like bugging her!
Gabby- your crazy
Maya- whatever, you ready to go
Gabby- think so
Nat- your good, there's a nurse up there already if you need anything.
We head to the PT room, Maya's wheelchair has this cool thing where she can push herself with one arm.
Kate- so you two are going to match even more soon. Gabby your AFOs are ready, Callie's meeting us here in a few minutes to try them on you.
Gabby- cool. Can I get up
Kate- we might try a stander if you can tolerate the braces.
Wow, they did not tell me any of this was happening today, I haven't stood up in 6 weeks and I might be doing it today. I'm excited but also nervous that I won't be able to do it.
They lift me onto a big padded table and start doing stretches, mostly on my ankles to get them ready for the braces. Then Callie come in carrying braces.
Callie- ready to try these on?
I look at her then at my chair and back at her. My device is still on my chair, I can't use it when I'm laying here.
Callie- oh sorry I didn't notice.
Janet- eye contact means yes, looking away means no.
Callie- ok, so you're ready?
I look at her again.
Callie- so you'll usually wear socks with these but right now I just want to see how they fit.
She rolls up my pants and bends my knee then starts trying to get my ankle straight so it can go in the brace. I'm moving around which isn't helping but I can't control it. It hurts so much, I start crying even though I'm trying not to. Maya must notice because she rolls herself over so she's right besides me.
Maya- I know it sucks and it hurts but it will get better. I know everyone's been telling you that because that's what everyone was telling me and I didn't believe them either but it does. It still sucks and no one knows if either of us will get back to where we were before but it will get better.
I look at her and try to focus on her instead of the pain. She reaches out to hold my hand, this is interesting. She's pretty good with her left arm but I can tell it takes a lot of focus and she can't move very fast and I'm moving all over the place. We both start laughing and after a while we finally succeed in holding hands.
Maya- I think we just invented the handshake for our new club, firefighters with TBIs. I already invented one club back in Seattle, the Seattle Fire Queers.
I keep trying to focus on her and eventually Callie's finished and the braces are on.
Callie- ok they fit but you're ankles are really tight and won't bend to 90 degrees. I made the braces hinged and added foam on the bottom to accommodate that.
Liam and Kate had come over now to hear about the braces.
Callie- it's not my call but I think it's time for Botox.
Liam- we've been trying to hold off but you're right. We want to start trying standing and walking and we need to get your feet flat.
Callie- you the way I made these I didn't put a plantar flexion stop in so that you can wear them right now but if you do Botox we can slowly add pieces to the back of the hinge to force your foot to be more flat and shave off the foam wedge so eventually you'll just be able to stand flat.
I look at them then back at Maya, I'm not sure what would happen with getting Botox and I'm scared
Maya- it's ok, I've had it a few times in my arm, it hurts for a day or two but then it doesn't and you're not as tight and it's amazing
Kate- ok, we're going to get the stander ready to try
Everyone leaves so it's just me and Maya. I'm still laying on the table so I can't really do anything.
Maya- oh I forgot! Carina set up my feed and I never started it.
She grabs her bag and pulls out the end of the tube, it looks different than mine. She lifts up her shirt to connect it and I try not to look since I know how much I hate people looking at me but I notice that her tube is really small so I look at it more and she notices, I look away.
Maya- it's ok, you can look
I look back at her tube, it's just like a little button. I try to look at my stomach but can't since I'm laying down so I try to touch it with my arm, which was a bad choice. After flailing around for awhile my arm smacks my stomach and of course right on my most recent scar, ow. Maya notices me and starts laughing
Maya- what are you doing?
I glare at her then also start laughing. I look at her tube again, she still has her shirt pulled up since she's struggling to attach the tubing to her g-tube.
Maya- do you want me to lift up your shirt? Is that what this is about?
Still laughing at me, I look at her. She lifts my shirt to find my tube.
Maya- oh you still have the long one. You wanting to know how I got the mic-key button instead of the long tube?
I look at her again.
Maya- you have to wait until the stoma heals, so a few months and then I had a short procedure to take the PEG tube out and put this in. After that these tubes can just be changed without anesthesia or anything. It's just this little tube and then you attach the extension when you want to use it which is great but I don't have the fine motor skills to get this thing attached.
I laugh and look over at Janet and Kate and back at Maya
Maya- no it's fine I can get it.
I give her a look. Janet, Kate and Liam come over with the stander and see Maya struggling.
Janet- do you need help?
Maya- ok, sure. You just line up the black lines and push it in then turn it.
Janet quickly attaches it.
Maya- thanks
She turns the pump on and puts the bag back on the back of her chair.
Kate- Gabby you ready to get up?
I look at her
Kate- ok, we're going to lift you into it, you focus on trying to keep your head up.
They pick me up and sit me in the stander. I fall forward because there's nothing holding me up yet. In my wheelchair I'm tilted back until I'm all strapped in but this doesn't tilt. First they put the seatbelt around my waist before I spasm and slide out then Janet lifts me up and put the chest harness on and lifts my head onto the headrest. Once I have the chest harness on and she's put my head up I can hold it there. They start strapping my feet in next and put these padded blocks against my knees, by now my head has fallen again but then they attach a tray and Liam puts my arms on it so I can push against it to keep my head up which makes it way easier. Janet also attaches the eye gaze to the stander so I can use it again.
Gabby- yay, can talk again
Kate- ok, ready to start going up?
Gabby- yes
Kate- ok, just tell me when you need to stop or take a break or go back down. Your in charge.
She starts standing me up.
Gabby- this is weird
Maya- you haven't stood in 6 weeks of course it's weird, but it's good weird right.
Gabby- yes. I'm taller than you now.
Maya- hey, I'm sitting!
Gabby- I'm still taller.
Kate is still slowly standing me up.
Gabby- wait. Tight sore
Kate- ok, we can take a break for a few minutes.
Maya- further than I was my first time in a stander!
Her phone starting ringing and she pulls it out and answers it.
Maya- hey Andy, what's up? Did you burn down my firehouse!?
Andy- ok first I think we can agree it's my firehouse, it was my dad's and I grew up here and no I didn't burn it down!
Maya- whatever
Andy- I just wanted to check in, how are you doing? What are you doing on your mystery trip?
Maya- I'm good, tired and a bit sore from the trip but I'm having lots of fun.
She looks over at me
Maya- want to meet my best friend since the academy
Gabby- sure
She comes over and tries to get in a good spot to show both of us on FaceTime but I'm up to high in the stander.
Maya- one minute Andy I need to get up
She puts her on my tray and backs up so she has room to stand up. My head falls and I push on the tray to lift it up again and knock her phone off
Gabby- sorry
I really hope I didn't just break her phone
Maya- it's fine I drop it all the time, I've got a good case. Kate would you mind getting my phone for me, I'll just fall on my face!
Kate- no problem. Gabby do you think you can go up more?
Gabby- maybe
She gives Maya her phone and then starts bringing me up more. I'm almost standing up all the way but I have to stop because my legs are hurting from being stretched out.