Toxic - Rudy Pankow

Twenty Seven <3

||Josette's POV||

I get up from my position on the bed and walk back into the mess of the kitchen and grab an apple from the counter before sitting on top of it. I watch as Rudy comes into the kitchen to follow me.

"The first thing that you can do to make it all up to me is cleaning this shit up" my statement is blunt which makes him laugh before nodding and proceeding to do what I had asked of him. Although I am trying to be positive with him now the hurt I still feel over everything that happened is immense. The last thing I thought he would ever do would be to cheat on me. I understand that he was scared and confused but cheating was something that I always told myself I would never stand for, that's until I also had a child to think about.

I watch him finish cleaning before walking back into the bedroom and I start to remove my clothing and belongings from the drawers.

"What are you doing? I thought you said that we were okay?" Rudy's stands in the doorway confused.

"Im just going to stay in the spare room for a while okay? While we fully work things out" I don't think I could bare to stay in the same bed as him knowing that he was just all over Elaine. The pregnancy hormones heightened my emotions.

"Oh okay then" his voice is low and hurt. It upsets me to know that I'm hurting him but I need to protect myself and my child, to do that I need to work on trusting him again. When I turn back around he is gone from his position in the doorway. I carry my things into the spare room down the hall and lay onto the bed pulling my phone out of my pocket.

I pull up google and find the nearest pregnancy specialist clinic around me and book and appointment for 3 days time. I hated going to doctors and clinics but this is for the safety and health of my child so I knew it was something that I needed to do.

I get up from my bed knowing that me and Rudy ignoring each other wasn't going to be a very healthy relationship. I find him seated in the lounge on his phone which he quickly puts away when I enter. Well if that isn't suspicious at all....

"Did you want to go for a walk or something?" My voice is quiet and I expect him to say no but much to my surprise he nods. He goes to the bedroom retrieving a jumper before  we head out of the apartment. The weather outside is gloomy but for me that's perfect. It matches my mood.

As we begin walking he takes ahold of my hand and my body tenses. The feeling of his touch just brings everything flooding back to me and makes me feel almost nauseous.

||Rudy's POV||

I feel her hand tense under my own and it feels so foreign. we were always so affectionate towards each other but now i'm afraid that I've ruined it and we will never be the same again. if i have ruined our relationship i don't know what i'll do. Josie meant everything to me. i just needed to prove that to her.

we approach the beach and sit in a quiet place on the sand. i let go of her hand and we sit there silently, only just with our shoulders touching. the silence holds a thick tension that i know i need to break in order for us to fix things. 

"do you think it's going to be a boy or a girl?" my voice breaks the silence and she chuckles quietly before taking a minute to think.

"i'm not too sure actually. i hope its a girl but i feel like its a boy. how about you?" even though i asked the question i hadn't fully thought about it myself. what did i want? i think i wanted a boy more, i feel like they're much more easy and care free compared to girls. 

"i want a boy, a little mini me" i grin at her and she smiles shaking her head. "that would be an absolute fucking nightmare" she states it so bluntly and i laugh slightly agreeing with her. a mini me would be a handful. 

"i am so naming it though, you hare having nothing to do with that" i laugh at her light heartedly and she playfully gasps holding her chest. 

"no way! i am so good with naming things" she gives me a playful knowing look and i scoff at her. "you named the most adorable little dog a hideous name. i am not having our child being bullied at school because of their name" i laugh at her and she shakes her head pretending to be hurt. 

"dave is a perfect name for him. don't you think it suits him?" she smiles at me before turning to face the water. "Josie i'm not going to lie to you, that day when you lost him and he ran over to me on set i thought you were running around calling after your grandad or some weird boyfriend, not that innocent little dog" to this she bursts out laughing which makes me smile. i admire her beauty as she hides her head in her hands giggling. she really is beautiful and this is how i liked us being. 

her laughing stops instantly as two girls walk over to us, i look up at them and smile as they are grinning at me. "are you Rudy like the guy who plays JJ in outer banks?" i don't get recognised that often when i'm out alone but the show has gotten significantly bigger which increased the public attention. 

"uhhh yep that's me" i smile at them lightly, they look around 20 and they are both clearly very flirtatious "can we please get a picture with you?" i look to josie who is looking away messing with the sand. "yea sure" i get up from where i am sitting and go to make my way over to them.

"here, pass me your phone, ill take the picture for you guys" Josie stands up brushing herself off as the girl complies and passes her the phone. they both then stand next to me and wrap their arms around me. we smile for the photo and exchange a small amount of general conversation before they happily walk away. 

i turn to josie who is sitting down again and i move to sit with her. "im really sorry about that, i just feel really guilty if i was to say no-" she cuts me off with a small smile that is pained yet genuine. 

"Rudy its okay, its apart of your job and you know that i will always understand and respect that. of course its not the nicest to have thousands of girls swooning over your boyfriend but its okay, i can trust you, i hope" a twinge of guilt fills my body knowing that she no longer has full trust in me. 

"Josie i love you, we are starting a family together and its all going to be perfect okay?" my voice is assertive. It's all going to be okay. 

A/N

hello my loves, sorry that this one was short and completely unedited but its been a long day. also the update in the morning might come a little bit later than usual. i'm sorry. on a happier note, we have reached 1K+ reads and i'm so thankful for you all. please remember to vote, comment and share. 

- J x