Toxic - Rudy Pankow

Seventy Five <3

||Rudy's POV||

My hands were shaking and my body was still. Can people pass out from nervousness and fear? Because I'm pretty darn sure that I'm about to. Her face was drained of all colour in shock and I think my heart just about broke into pieces seeing her stood there like that. I know I need to speak to stop her from leaving or freaking out but anything that I had once wanted to say were stuck in my throat unable to leave my mouth. I'm a confident person, why was i acting like a scared little kid at the moment I needed to be most confident in my entire life.

"Rudy...." Her voice trails off and then I see a tear escape from her eyes as she takes in the scene in front of her. Although she has tears down her face she still looks beautiful standing there with her blonde hair tucked behind her ear. One of her heads rests on top of her stomach and the other comes up to cover her mouth as a sob escapes her lips. The sound snaps me out of my trance and I cough before talking.

"Josie baby, p-please don't say anything just let me speak okay?" My voice is shakey and she looks to me through her glossy eyes before agreeing. I reach my hand out towards me and she slowly walks forward placing her hand in mine, tears are still looking at her eyes.

"Josie you are the absolute love of my life, you and this baby are my future, you're my purpose and there is no other way that I ever see myself living my life. I thought that acting was always going to be my life long dream but I was wrong, I was so so wrong. My dream is to be with you forever and have a perfect family" I take a shakey breath before continuing "From the moment that I met you I knew you were the one for me Josie, you were different to any other girl that I've ever met in my entire life. You didn't care or even know that I had the slightest bit of fame, you saw me for me. The way that I feel in love with you in a matter of weeks let me know that you're it for me. You are simply the most kind and caring person I've ever met Josie, you care for people, for animals , everything Josie. And I know you've had it tough and people don't see you for you but I do and fuck I love you so much Josie. I feel so blessed to have you as mine and I feel even more blessed that I get to be the father of your child. There is no one else on this entire earth that I'd want to do life with than you" I pause looking into her eyes and her body is shaking uncontrollably from the amount of tears that are falling from her eyes. Please be happy tears, please please please be happy tears.

"I love everything about you Josie, the way your eyes instantly light up when you smile, the outright contagiousness of your laugh that I love even though you hate it. I love your nose piercing that you're insecure about even though it compliments your features so fucking perfectly. I love the tattoos that perfectly spread over your arm that tell your story and completely make you who you are, fuck what other people say, I love them and I'd never want you to look any other way Josie because they make you and I love you. What I love most is your personality though Josie, your humour matches mine absolutely perfectly. You make me a better man Josie and I'm the happiest that I ever have been when I'm with you. I love the way your eyebrows crease and you push you glasses up when you read your books that you get so into, I love the way you wear my clothing even though it's 10 times too big for you. Fuck I just love you Josie, so so fucking much" she stays silent throughout everything the way I asked her.

I drop her hand from my own stepping back and reaching my hand down into my pocket to feel the small velvet box. Pulling it out her eyes go wide and the sobs falling from her mouth become louder. This is it, this is the do or die moment.

"Fuck I don't even know if you want this, Dylan advised against it but you know me, always going off doing my own thing. Fuck it, here goes nothing" I take a deep breath mentally preparing myself before dropping down to one knee on the sand and look up to her through my own glossy eyes. Fuck no one ever told me that this shit was going to be so emotional. I very unsteadily and clumsily fumble with the box opening it to reveal the shiny ring before turning it to face her and her eyes go wide.

"Josette Kane, will you marry me?"

A/N
Hello my loves, I'm sorry this chapter is much much shorter however I just felt as if it was right to stop it here. I'm sorry that the update is late but I hope it's worth it!! Anyways, what's some song requests? I need some new music to listen to. Also I finally brought the book 'It Ends With Us' by Colleen Hoover. Have you guys read it? Did you enjoy it? I've only just stared reading it so please no spoilers or I'll cry.
Please vote, share and comment <3

- J x