Toxic - Rudy Pankow

Sixty Four <3

||Rudy's POV||

We were half way through the flight and the entire time Ive sat next to Drew much to his protests and kept my headphones in ignoring him. Josie was down the other end of the plane with Madelyn and Maddison. I felt bad for the way that I just left her earlier on, I shouldn't have done that to her and it was irresponsible of me. I also felt bad for bringing Chase into my relationship problems, it was unfair of me. Much to my surprise Josie's voice pulls me from my thoughts, although my headphones are in I can still slight hear everything around me.

"Go sit with your on screen sister mr starkey, I need some alone time with the holiday grinch over here" her voice holds forced humour for Drew's sake and he gets up doing as he's asked. She tried to sit next to me slightly struggling because of her large bump so I rush to her aid moving the straps of the seat belt out of her way as she sits down.

"Oh so you're happy to actually help me now huh?" Annoyance is clear in her voice and I simply turn away, I'm not ready for her sarcastic shit. All of the sudden the headphone that was once rested in my ear gets ripped out making me turn to face her. What the actual fuck?

"I don't want to talk to you Josette, give me my headphones back and go back to your little friends or even better, go back to your little boyfriend on your phone" my face holds the most outraged look and she tilts her head in confusion. Don't tell me she's going to act stupid.

"What the fuck are you on about Rudy?" Her confusion is replaced with annoyance and her act of not knowing what I'm talking about pisses me off even further.

"Last night when you told me to check the message on your phone from Dylan I opened it up to a bunch of lovey messages between you and an unknown number. Yea the messages hurt me but do you know what's worse? You sent whatever guy it is you're seeing photos of you in just your underwear, you do realise that it's my child in there that you're showing off? Pretty fucking skanky if you ask me Josie. I didn't know you were that low" I keep my voice low considering we were on a plane but my words were seethed filled with rage.

"And how much of those messages did you read Rudy?" She stares at me with rage. Is that all she cared about? No explanation just worry about how much I read?

"I read enough to get the gist of what the fuck was going on" I turn away as she forcefully shoves her phone in my face.

"Well you didnt read enough actually because if you did then you'd see the message that reads 'Hey Josie it's Emma, I'm sorry I've been MIA but I got a new number. How's everything going with you? I'm loving it here in Seattle' so yes I sent my friend pictures of my bump to tell her that I'm pregnant for fuck sake" her voice slightly raises and she chuckles in disbelief. I snatch the phone from her hands and sure enough the message that she just read out is there. I've well and truely fucked up here.

"But hey, if you don't trust me so much that you have to look through my phone then why should I even bother explaining myself?" No no no, this is the last thing that I want her thinking. She goes to stand up to get away from me but her stomach gets caught on the arm rest that is sticking out causing her bump to scrape across it. She flys back to sit on the seat hissing in pain holding her stomach.

"Oh my god Josie are you okay?! How can I help?!" I move to the edge of my seat taking ahold of her arm and I pull her face to look at my own. It is clear that she's in pain and I feel awful. If I wasn't being such a dick then she wouldn't have tried to get away from me in such a hurry.

"I'm fucking fine Rudy just leave me alone" her voice cracks and a tear runs down her cheek but she stays out in the seat beside me.

"Baby I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be a stupid brainless asshole. I'm just insecure and scared of losing you. But I need you to let me help you. I need to make sure you're okay" I tug on the bottom of her jumper awaiting permission from her to let me lift it up to inspect where she got hurt. She nods lightly not saying anything and I gently lift up her jumper revealing her bare stomach. Under her hand is a red mark from where the arm rest came into contact with her stomach.

"Are you okay? Do I need to get a doctor or something?" I lightly touch the area and she flinches making me worry more but she shakes her head telling me no.

"It's just sensitive because the skin is so stretched. I know she's fine because I can feel her wriggling around all okey the place" she looks down with her hand firmly against her stomach patiently awaiting the baby's kicks. Once she feels them she relaxes in her seat and I see the stress leave her face. I do the same and gently place my hand next to hers feeling the light thumping of beans feet. I rest my head on the seat looking at her fully.

"Josie I really am sorry. I didn't mean to read the messages either, they were just on there and I panicked. I'm just so excited about having this perfect family with you that I'm terrified of losing it so much that I make up stupid scenarios in my head and I'm sorry" I look to her with sorrow and remorse fully regretting my actions. I have never been like this with a girl before, I'm usually always confident and never the jealous type. But with her the paranoia of having the relationship taken away from me eats me alive every day no matter how loyal I know Josie is to me always.

"It's okay Ru, I understand the feeling but what you need to think about is how much all of this will end up breaking us. If you ever get these feelings or doubt my loyalty then you need to confront me about it and talk to me, not hide it and then blow up in front of our friends okay?" She takes ahold of my hand gently rubbing it comfortingly.

"I know baby, I'm sorry it won't happen again. I love you" I don't know what I ever did to deserve this girl but I wasn't about to let my own stupidity or anyone else's take her from me.

A/N
Hello my loves, I just wanted to say that I appreciate when you guys comment so much. It literally makes my day to have interaction with you and it makes me feel like this book is actually worth something so thank you. None of you ever go unnoticed. Please message me if you ever want to talk.

- J x