𝕗𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣 | ᴇɴ-

𝟒

What did he do?

I hold on to the sink as another wave of nausea overcomes me. It's overwhelming and I try to hold it in, to the point where there are spots on my vision.

Breathe in, breathe out.

I repeat this in my head until the nausea passes. Finally I let out a sigh and raise my head to the mirror. I look like shit. I look like Sunghoon-hyung.

When he touched me by the swimming pool a shock went through me. I don't remember much after that. It was like a blackout with only some whispering voices to break the silence. They sounded like a warning and I called out to anyone that could hear me. I screamed in the darkness even though there was no sound coming from my mouth.

When I regained consciousness, Sunghoon was shaking me and calling my name. It didn't sound safe coming from him anymore. So I pushed him away.

"Get away from me!"

"Niki, I didn't mean—"

"No! Don't get close!"

He looked so sad then. His eyes were broken when he looked at me, but then he steeled himself and concealed his feelings like he always does. Only he never used to do it with me. When he hurt he hid it from the others because he didn't want to be burdensome, but he always told me. We used to tell each other everything.

I fled then. I wanted to get as much space between us as possible. He tried to chase after me, but thankfully Jungwon-hyung was there to stop him. I wanted to be away from everyone. I didn't feel right.

I don't feel right.

A tremor goes through me and I splash water in my face. I need to stop this. I don't know what's going on with me. Just then someone knocks on the bathroom door.

"Niki? Are you there?" It's Sunoo-hyung's voice.

"Yes," I manage, though it comes out as a croak.

"Can I come in? Are you okay?"

I don't answer and he opens the door. His silvery hair bright, in contrast with his face.

"Damn it, Niki, what the hell happened to you?"

He comes closer and puts a hand to my forehead. I swat it away. I don't want anyone near me again. Everyone is hiding something.

"I didn't tell you to come in."

"You're sick."

"I can take care of myself."

"Niki," he says sternly, "let me help you."

"I don't want your help."

"You called me! I heard you when you were with Sunghoon-hyung. You called me."

I pause at that. He heard me? But no sound left my mouth.

"How did you hear me?"

"I'm... not really sure. I just knew you needed me."

I look at him, studying him as if he were a stranger again. Sunoo-hyung had never been unkind to me, his energy always lifted my spirits no matter the day, but I had never attributed much more to him. Maybe I should have.

"I guess I do need help," I say softly.

He smiles and takes a towel from a cabinet, soaking it in water before cleaning my face.

"What did Sunghoon do that day in the swimming pool?"

I feel a shadow of the shock at the memory.

"He lied to me," I say.

He stops cleaning for a moment to look me in the eye, and then I know Sunghoon-hyung might not be the only liar among us.