𝕗𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣 | ᴇɴ-

𝟔

I race hopelessly up the hill, even though it's pointless to try when I am so obviously no match for Niki. The little jerk even has the guts to turn around and make a face at me as he reaches the top of the hill. We are outside, playing under the sun like before everything, but it's only us two this time. The sky is clear and all the smells are sharp after last night's rain, yet everyone else has stayed inside.

I reach him a few moments later, breathless.

"This isn't fair!"

"I think quite the opposite, hyung."

"The only reason you asked me to race was because you knew you'd win," I acuse and he just laughs. I pretend to be mad but it doesn't last long. It's impossible to be mad at him.

We run a couple more times (with him winning each one) until I beg for mercy and he gives in. I don't know where he gets all his energy, but I'm glad to see him like this. When I first came to him in the bathroom he looked very sick, and for days after his condition didn't seem to improve much. But today he came to me early with a smile brightening his face and asked if I wanted to play outside. Of course I said yes.

By the end of the last race I'm sweating but happy. He looks tired too and our breaths are the only sound nearby. I offer to cool off in the swimming pool. As we make our way back to the castle I spot Jungwon coming out of the front gates.

"Jungwon-hyung!" Niki calls. He turns towards us and waves. As we near him I ask: "We're going to the swimming pool, care to join?"

"Sure!"

Niki puts his arms around us both and we chat and joke as we make our way to the swimming pool. The three of us like this reminds me of the time before all this madness came upon us.

Going down a hall we walk into Sunghoon-hyung. We stop for a moment and stare at each other. No one says anything and I glance sideways at Niki to see how he's doing. He doesn't show anything on his face and a moment later he moves us forward, leaving our hyung behind looking after us.

"You still haven't made up?" Jungwon asks.

Niki ignores him and continues on. I look over and find Jungwon staring at me. Does he think I know something?

Soon we reach the swimming pool and jump into the water, drowning out all our other problems. Drowning the image of Sunghoon in the hall, his skin glowing and looking more rested than he had all week. We drown Heeseung-hyung's strangeness since the day he came out. If we ignore it long enough, we can almost pretend everything is normal again.

"Don't tell me you're feeding his anger," Jungwon tells me when Niki is away grabbing a snack for us.

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean."

Of course, he's talking about our conversation that day after the incident at the swimming pool. I'd been so angry at Sunghoon-hyung. Looking back it seems senseless, but at the moment I'd been on a rage. He had hurt Niki, even if I didn't know how or why. And he had lied about it. Jungwon had reached me as I tried to talk to our maknae.

"Sunoo, what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to help Niki."

"Help him? How?"

"Sunghoon did something, even if he claims he didn't. And Niki needs me."

He had stopped me then, grabbing my shoulder.

"You need to calm down first."

"Let go of me!"

"You won't be of any help to Niki if you're like this!"

I sighed and turned to him. He stared deep into my eyes.

"Sunghoon-hyung isn't at fault here."

"Then why did Niki run away?"

"I don't know."

I scoffed. Nobody seemed to know anything lately.

"If you have a grudge on Sunghoon-hyung that's on you, Sunoo, but you can't force it on Niki too."

"What are you insinuating?" I narrowed my eyes at him.

"I'm saying I don't think it would be smart of you to feed things into his ear and not let him make up with our hyung."

I pushed his hand away.

"You're painting me out to be such a terrible person. I'm not like that! You know I'm not like that!"

"I know we haven't been the same since Heeseung-hyung came out."

How right he was then. And how right he is now, looking at me through the wet strands of his hair.

"If Niki hasn't made up with Sunghoon-hyung it's been of his own free will. I haven't had anything to do with it."

"And what about you?"

"Pardon?"

"Have you made up with Sunghoon-hyung?"

I give him a funny look. "I don't have—"

Just then Niki walks in with sandwiches for us and our conversation is cut off. Jungwon and I climb out of the pool to eat. Through the windows I can see the sky turning orange.

We sit on the edge of the pool with our backs against each other, eating in silence. When we finish we stay like this with our clothes still wet. Even though we're resting I feel tired, as if I were still racing on the hill. A cold sweat breaks through me.

"I hadn't been here since that day with Sunghoon-hyung," Niki says, but I hear him faraway.

"You should talk to him," Jungwon tells him.

"Maybe, but I like being with you two."

He squeezes our hands and my body gives up on me. The last thing I see is the ceiling of the swimming pool with our maknaes' voices in the background.