𝕗𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣 | ᴇɴ-

𝟖

Sweat gathers on my forehead as I walk into the ballroom. It is dark outside but I feel restless. Dread has planted itself in my core and it won't let me sleep.

After our little pool party, Sunoo excused himself to his rooms saying he was tired. There had been prominent shadows around his eyes as if he hadn't slept for days and a strange glimmer in his forehead. I didn't remember him looking so exhausted moments before but I might've been too focused on Niki to notice.

When it was just us, I laid down beside him and started to think about how I would address the subject without sending him on defence mode. I was just about to speak when he interrupted.

"I know what you're going to say, hyung."

"Sorry?"

He turned to me. "I saw you in the hallway when we walked into Sunghoon-hyung. You're gonna tell me to make up with him."

"Why haven't you already? I thought you guys got along well."

"We did."

"What changed?"

"He lied."

"You lied too."

He sat up, surprised. He must've thought nobody knew.

"I know you've come back here with Sunghoon-hyung," I said. "Or, more accurately, you've spied on him here."

He narrowed his eyes. "It seems I was not the only one spying."

"It wasn't intentional, trust me." I had been looking for Jay-hyung because he had seemed distraught at lunch and I wanted to check in on him. These days, we couldn't have the luxury of more secrets. Instead I'd found Niki as he slipped into the swimming pool room quietly, staying in shadows. Sunghoon-hyung was inside, with his feet in the water. The silence had been deafening.

"I don't think I trust anyone anymore," Niki said.

"You're not the only one. But you can't hold that against him when you're guilty of it too."

He sighs and I sit up next to him.

"Why did you spy on Sunghoon-hyung?"

"What do you care?"

"Because I care about you! Both of you. And if one of you isn't okay, none of us are."

"Then we haven't been okay for a while."

I don't have an answer for him. At least none worth hearing because it's true. It started when Heeseung-hyung got sick and since then the rest of us have been falling apart.

"He did... something to me," Niki whispered.

"Something?"

"I'm not sure how to explain it," he looked at his hands, as if the answer were there. "But I've felt different ever since."

My heart beat fast with the weight of his words.

"You've felt it too, haven't you?" he asked.

"Not yet," I answered, just as quietly. "But I've seen the others."

"It's only a matter of time, then. It seems we're all in this together too, huh?"

He smiled humourlessly and I felt my blood go cold as I noticed the same glimmer on his forehead that had been on Sunoo's.

Now, in the darkened ballroom, the feeling of dread after those words eats me inside. Is this really our fate? Have we already resigned ourselves to embrace it instead of fighting it? I've been trying to put the pieces together about this whole ordeal, while also attempting to keep us sane. But maybe it has all been in vain.

The image of Heeseung-hyung in the wardrobe haunts me, and the look of Sunghoon-hyung when he came into the kitchen with him, fed the hopelessness that had settled in me. Everyone knows we are sinking slowly and yet we've all isolated ourselves, deciding to face our demons alone. Jay-hyung has been doing something on his own, even if he doesn't tell me, and I haven't seen Jake-hyung in a while since he always hides away in the baths. Sunghoon-hyung avoids all of us. Sunoo-hyung didn't look so well when he left the swimming pool yesterday. Niki is already changing too and, as he said, it's only a matter of time before I do.

Whatever changed Heeseung-hyung is getting to all of us.

I still haven't been able to understand what is happening to us, but thinking about it gives me a headache. I begin sweating again and panting, even though I've barely moved. Putting my hands on my knees, I try to catch my breath.

I need to get it together.

I straighten up and try to walk back to my room, but my vision falters. As I look around, everything blurs together. I'm burning up. What was it Niki said? Something had happened to him and he hadn't been the same ever since.

Something is happening to me. But I can't change. I need to put the pieces together and figure out what is happening. I need to ask Jay-hyung what is going on. I need to talk to Jake-hyung. I need to help Sunghoon-hyung. I need to look after Sunoo-hyung. I need to care for Niki. And I can't count on Heeseung-hyung anymore unless he talks to me and tells me everything will be alright, like he always used to. But these days he has distanced himself from everyone, even me.

I need us to hold on a little longer.
Sweat drips down my face and I feel lightheaded when I think I spot Sunghoon-hyung walking into the ballroom. His eyes are glowing. Or maybe I'm just imagining it. I'm not sure, the next moment I black out.