Angels | Ghosts Of The Past 2 [BoyxBoy] ✓

16. Beautiful Lies

Chase.

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I lie in my bed and stare up at the ceiling. I'm so excited to go on a trip with Sky. He told me I could choose where we go. I'm thinking New York. Far away from everyone and everything. Far away from my thoughts, hopefully. I never think about anything bad when I'm with Sky. All I can think about is him. 

I wonder what it'll be like. Just us two. We'd have to eat. We'd go to a restaurant.. And.. we'd probably share a hotel room. Would we share a bed? I wonder how he'd feel if I kissed him. I won't. Of course not. I wouldn't betray Aron like that. But... If I kissed him, would he like it? I've kissed more people now. I know what I'm doing now. I feel like he would like it. He did say I was hot. You don't say that to just anyone, right? 

God, I'm so pathetic. 

The door to my room creaks open. I know it's Loren. 

"I told you to knock." I sigh. 

She doesn't respond. She just lays down next to me on the bed. 

"I was so excited to see you again today.. You definitely weren't excited to see me.." She sounds so small. She only sounds like this when she's really sad. And that's my fault. I guess I really hurt her feelings.

"That's not true." I say.

It is. 

"I was just in a bad mood. I'm sorry." I look into her eyes. 

"Mom and dad said you're always in a bad mood these days. What's going on?" She looks so worried. It's just like after I tried to kill myself. They were constantly on edge and concerned for me. It was awful. 

"Tell me. What's wrong?" Her eyes probe into my soul. 

I think about Kev. I try not to show my discomfort as my stomach turns. I hate thinking about him. And about that night. It's been weeks but the memory is still so fresh. It's taunting me. 

I put on a big smile. 

"I'm growing up, sis." 

She chuckles. "Yeah, you sure are. It took you long enough." 

"Hey!" I push her playfully. 

We both laugh. It does feel kind of nice to be with her again. 

"Chase?" She asks quietly. 

"Yeah?"

"I don't mind that you're in love with Sky.." My heart takes off as she says the words. I wan't to push them back into her mouth. I hate it. 

"But Aron—"

"I'm not in love with Sky." I say quickly. Defensively. 

"But.. At dinner—"

"You took it the wrong way. It's not what I meant." I turn away from her. 

"Okay.. But I'm just saying if you were.. I wouldn't judge you. And neither would dad." 

"Mom would kill me." 

"She'd come around. Just like she needed to with Sky." 

"She hates Sky." 

"Nobody hates Sky." 

I sigh. True. And everybody hates Chase. 

Loren wraps her arms around my waist. It feels nice not sleeping alone. We used to sleep like this all the time when we were kids. We used to get along so well. I don't know what happened. 

Oh. I had sex with her boyfriend. Not that she knows but it's driven this invisible wedge between us that I can't break. And I can't tell her the truth. It would only hurt more.