Angels | Ghosts Of The Past 2 [BoyxBoy] ✓

45. Avoid

Chase.

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It's lunchtime at school and as per usual I am sitting in the corner by myself. Dad made me a ham sandwich for lunch which I eat, not because I want to but because I have to. I don't want to eat anything. I feel like shit today. I put on some music from my dad's old MP3 player. I swear, when is he going to give me my phone back? I've been so good. 

I sigh and look around at my peers. They're all talking to each other. Laughing. Having a great time. I hate high school. But I have one more year to go. Or more, if I don't pass these coming math exams. Anthony is coming over again this week to help out. He's slightly less annoying than before but it's still very apparent we don't click. 

I stare up at the clock and sigh when I see it'll be twenty more minutes till class. I just wanna leave. Or smoke a blunt honestly. That would really help right now. I peer over at Lucas' table. Alex still owes me those pills.. 

It's useless. He'll just laugh at me. 

At least when I had alcohol and drugs I could avoid being alone in my mind. Cause that's a very dangerous place for me to be right now.

I look down at my wrist and trace a scar under my sleeve. I get the overwhelming urge to puncture it with my nail. 

My dad would notice. A thousand percent. Dammit. I just need to breathe. I just need to collect myself. 

I get up and go to the bathroom. I'm alone in there thankfully. I lean onto the sink and try to breathe through it. I can't stop staring at my arm. Tears well up in my eyes. 

I can just tell dad I ran into something. 

I pull up my sleeve and begin to pick at a scar and then another one. The sense of relief is overwhelming and soon I find myself not wanting to stop.

I rip open some of the wounds that had begun to heal. The pain is distracting and familiar. Somehow all this is weirdly comforting.

The door swings open. I pull down my sleeve. 

"Um.. you okay?" 

I look up into Anthony's eyes. 

"Yeah, fine." I mumble. 

I can feel Anthony's inquisitive gaze on my face though he doesn't say anything. 

He comes over to the mirror to fix his makeup. 

I notice his perfume smells really nice. Sickeningly sweet like honey. 

I wash my hands in an attempt to seem normal. 

He sighs annoyed. 

"You can come sit with me and Fawn if you want." He looks into the mirror as he says this. 

It comes as a total surprise to me. 

"Are you sure? Is Fawn okay with that?" 

"Oh yeah, she's crushing on this girl now." He laughs. 

"Really?" I ask in disbelief. 

"Yep. She's like totally gothic. And four years older but I don't think it's serious." 

"Wait, what's her name?" I ask. 

"Heather."

My mouth falls open. 

"You know Heather?" 

"Yeah, she's like best friends with my.." What is Sky to me? Best friend sounds dismissive and brother is just plain wrong.