𝗜𝗳 𝗜 𝗗𝗶𝗲 𝗧𝗼𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗿𝗼𝘄 🤍

•𝗗𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗪𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗛𝗶𝘀 𝗗𝗲𝗺𝗼𝗻𝘀•

A/N: Flashback in italics, also this is technically an establishment and backstory chapter from Vince's POV.

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Vince's POV, 12th November 2004

Things in life aren't simple, when you're a kid you think they are then you become a teenager, then an adult and it slowly but surely dawns on you that life is one tough bitch.

Shit has happened to me, especially in the eighties that decade wasn't kind to me in any capacity shit happened that I'm still living with to this day- but the eighties gave me Nikki, they gave me Nikki and I'm so fucking grateful for that.

But no matter how cruel life's been for me, it's nothing compared to what Nikki's been through and has to deal with inside his head. I feel so helpless most of the time because I wanna help him, I love that bastard.

And to an extent I do help him, but I can't stop him from thinking and I can't stop him from believing the things he does about himself... he needs to believe he's better than he thinks but he doesn't and I doubt he ever will, I'll never give up on him.

I know I technically did when I walked out on him in 1992 but I was always going to go back it was for one night because I was just so frustrated with him pushing me away.

When the next day came and I got back to the house Nikki wasn't there, I thought that was strange so I waited for him to get back, I didn't ring anyone because I didn't know where to start, I didn't want to worry anyone either.

Nikki was gone for a while, I'm not sure how long it was he left before I got back but he was gone for hours even when I got there, when he did arrive back and walked in I instantly apologised to him about arguing with him the day before but he just stared at me blankly.

When I questioned him on why he was looking at me the way he was he just simply told me to pack my stuff and go, I was so shocked, I hadn't expected him to kick me out, I was so shocked I couldn't even be heartbroken.

All I could do was ask him why, he just said 'because' which wasn't much of an answer, but I didn't argue I did as he'd asked and went upstairs and put as much of my stuff into my car as I could, while Nikki just stood by the front door looking mildly conflicted in his decision but with no sign of actually changing his mind.

When I got as much as I could into my car I told him I'd come back for the rest in a few days, he accepted that before then casually telling me I was now no longer part of Mötley Crüe, that's where he'd been, he'd been with the other guys and Doug, with all of them agreeing to kick me out and that hurt, knowing my friends had all sided with Nikki but the way he said it hurt more than anything, he said it so nonchalantly... I remember it was then that the situation hit me because I'd lost both my boyfriend and my job on the same day for no apparent reason.

I didn't cry but I wanted too, I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of seeing that, so I just told him to harshly fuck off and to never talk to me again before getting to my car as quickly as I could, not knowing what the hell I was supposed to do with my life now seems as Nikki had been my life for so long.

I figured it out eventually but no matter what Nikki said about me he was always on my mind, I never stopped having feelings for him and I was so relieved to have him back when we finally rekindled our relationship in '96.