𝗜𝗳 𝗜 𝗗𝗶𝗲 𝗧𝗼𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗿𝗼𝘄 🤍

•𝗗𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗪𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗜𝘁•

A/N: This is probably the most filler-y filler chapter I've ever done, I personally think this chapter sucks balls but you know what, I'll let you decide.

•🗡•

Nikki's POV, March 27th 2005

The last month has been tough, dealing with the relentless press attention around my suicide 'rumour', though it's pretty much known to be true, people still don't want to believe that I tried to take my own life- it's okay though, I've dealt with it better than I thought I would.

I've been keeping myself to myself and not made a single comment on the matter, and now I think I finally feel ready to talk about it and clear up the shit storm which is going around, I've organised an interview for today ready for when we resume the tour.

We were due to go back on the road next week, and I was looking forward to it despite the fact everyone now knows what's been happening to me, I did the right thing agreeing to Vince's want of postponing shows but I wanted to be out on the road, performing is what I love to do and although it doesn't seem like it, it does relieve some stress.

Next week couldn't come any quicker, but that's then and this is now, now being sat on some couch in a studio about to be interviewed, Vince was here obviously- he wasn't doing it with me though, I needed to talk about this on my own, it was my problem not his.

He was sat off to the side just behind the woman who was going to be conducting the interview, she seemed pretty nice, not that I've talked to her at all since being here, I just wanted to do this, set things straight then get straight home.

I'd been sat here for about half an hour being fussed over my make-up artists and assistants, been fitted with a microphone and offered water and bags of potato chips- I accepted the water but refused the chips, I wasn't hungry.

I just sat waiting patiently, tapping my foot against the floor, every now and again glancing around and meeting Vin's eyes, he smiled at me every now and again offering me some reassurance, I wasn't nervous necessarily but I wasn't entirely comfortable with this either.

When it was time to begin the interview I took a second to just compose myself, there wasn't anything to be nervous about... struggling with your mental health is nothing to be ashamed of... talking about it can help others and that's what I want, I don't want anyone to suffer like I have.

The woman sat down and smiled at me, I returned it trying to remember her name... as far as I'm aware it was Kerry, I might be wrong but I'm fairly good with names, I think that was right.

"Hello, Nikki"

"Hey" I replied placing one of my arms on the top of the couch resting it there, as if I kept my hands in my lap I'd just be fidgeting the entire time.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, thank you..."

"Good... that's good to hear... you obviously know why you're here and what we're here to discuss"

"I do"

"You're okay if we start then?"

"Sure" I confirmed, looking over at Vinnie for a couple of seconds mindlessly who was sat watching me making sure I was okay and I was... I appreciate the concern though.