𝗜𝗳 𝗜 𝗗𝗶𝗲 𝗧𝗼𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗿𝗼𝘄 🤍

•𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗠𝗼𝗿𝗯𝗶𝗱 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆•

•🗡•

Nikki's POV, 13th November 2004

I was home alone right now, Vince had gone out for some much needed shopping- I would have gone with him but I wanted to clean up the bedroom a little bit seems as it was a bit of a mess, I hadn't said that though to him I just said I wasn't feeling up to going out shopping, it was kinda dull anyway, so just after Vin left I went upstairs and into our bedroom and started by vacuuming the floor, the floor hasn't been cleaned in a long while, probably two to three weeks, we've just been procrastinating about it, neither of us having the will to do it.

It took me twenty or so minutes which all in all wasn't so bad considering how long it'd been left to collect dust. As I cleaned I for some reason started to hum one of the new song we'd done for our 'Red, White and Crüe' album.

That song being 'If I Die Tomorrow', I loved the song, I love how it's turned out- Vince did a beautiful vocal performance on it, it was kick ass and it was going to be the main single hence why we'd done a music video for it.

But, as much as I loved that song it's not exactly a happy one, the morbid reality of that song was a reality nobody had pointed out to me, I expected someone to pick up on the undertones and hidden meanings in that song but nobody did, I was kinda glad about it because it was rather dark. I didn't want anymore worrying over me, especially Vinnie.

It was quite clear in the what I was thinking when writing the lyrics, I basically wrote it like a suicide note in a way, I wrote it like I was speaking to someone and I'm my mind I was speaking it all to Vince because the lyrics of that song were true.

The time I've been with Vinnie had gone so fast and it's always been unclear to me where the time goes, it's just flown by... Vince was everything to me and he makes me feel alive, more alive than anything else ever has... I needed to tell him that and so I put it in a song.

It was therapeutic for me to do that, it helped clear my mind- I was nervous to hand it over to Vince and the other guys at first thinking they'd immediately suss the meaning of the song had been but that didn't happen I got a 'sick dude' from Tommy, an approving nod from Mick and when I first showed Vin seconds after I finished it I got a 'it's beautiful' and a kiss.

I wonder if they'll ever realise what the song meant... or if they already knew, accept the meaning.

Once I'd done the vacuuming my eyes moved to the closet, may as well do that too while I'm here. I sighed and placed the vacuum cleaner over by the bedroom door and walked to the closet, I opened the doors and immediately cringed, we never cleaned the closet, it happened like once a year, we never really stopped to look at the condition of total disarray it was in but damn, I've seen cleaner landfills than this fucking place.

We don't live in a trash can I promise the rest of the house is very clean, it's just this room that's a total mess 90% of the time, this room is literally just for me and Vince, we don't have anyone come in here, it's our bedroom so why would we? We only really do two things in here, sleep and fuck.

But it had to be cleaned every once in a while, I wasn't sure where to even begin with the closet if I'm honest, it was a monumental task, though in the end I decided to just clean up all the shit up off the floor and place it back on hangers then move on from there.

I got to my knees and started picking up items of clothing, trying to differentiate what's mine and what's Vince's, the majority of these clothes were here because we'd threw them on the floor not having the will to put them away when stripping each other off when we fuck, then the next morning we can't be bothered to deal with it either so nine times out of ten the clothes just get thrown to the floor.