How The Heartaches Come And They Go

Chapter 18

Agnetha let the past couple of seconds play in her mind again. She had woken up because she could hear Marieke and Frida whispering, but she didn't think anything of it. The three of them were watching a movie together after all. She didn't think anything of it, when she saw them walk towards the kitchen. It was only when she noticed that Frida and Marieke were holding hands, that Agnetha began to question what was going on. If only her head wasn't pounding so much from the headache. The spilled wine. How nervous both Marieke and Frida seemed. Agnetha had seen a similar worried look on Frida's face the night before. She couldn't focus, the fever was burning her cheeks. Frida was worried because she was sick and alone. Well, not completely alone. Marieke was worried about her too. But the way she wiped her mouth after Agnetha had come down. It was such an odd motion, as if she was trying to hide something. Why had they gone into the kitchen and not come back yet? Why had they closed the door behind them? Agnetha wanted to go over and ask them, or maybe even listen at the door. But she was too tired, too aching to get up, to even move a finger. She knew something was going on and she would try to find out what, but the flu was still getting the best of her, so she sank back into a fever dream filled sleep.

"Frida, I think, no, well, yes, maybe it would be best.", Marieke wiped down her face with her hands:
"I think we should talk about what happened." Frida took Mariekes fidgeting hands in hers, in the hopes of calming her down.
"You're right."
"I liked kissing you, you know." Marieke couldn't look Frida in the eyes, she was just as nervous as she had been this afternoon.
"I know. I liked kissing you too."
"And I want to do it again."
"Good, I would like that too." Marieke took a deep breath and managed to look Frida deep in the eyes.
"But I don't really know what any of this means. And I'm scared of what  might happen if someone, if Agnetha, or if Björn or if anyone finds out." She looked down at their hands again. Frida tried to think of the right words to say.
"Marieke? Can I still kiss you?" Frida cupped Marieke's cheeks with her hands.
"Of course." With that Frida softly kissed Marieke. She only kissed her for a short moment, still afraid Agnetha might come in any second. When they pulled apart Marieke said:
"Maybe I don't know what any of this means, but I like it and I'd like to keep kissing you, if you would like that too. And no one has to know, it can be our secret." Frida smiled:
"Maybe it doesn't have to mean anything, as long as we're both happy." She paused.
"With our secret." Deep down all she could think was: That was exactly what Agnetha used to say, it was their secret. It was their secret, until it wasn't anymore.