A Love that Stays

Wedding

I've always been so idealistic about romance and love.  Maybe it's because I read romance books a lot. And my love for Sandro solidifies it.

From the start of our relationship, hindi ko alam kung paano kami nakatagal ni Sandro.  I was the loud one at siya naman sobrang tahimik.  He always understands me kahit minsan wala na sa lugar yung topak ko.  I was spoiled in short.  He's not too showy but he's always there.

He's always constant and consistent on my life.

Nanjan siya nung I failed the engineering board exam twice.  Nanjan siya nung nagchange career ako, always there para tikman yung mga food experiments ko.  He's always supportive and motivates me.  He's moving vertical while I'm moving horizontal but we makes sure to balance in the middle.

I am blessed to have him.

Simple lang yung decoration ng garden at ang motif ng kasal ay boho.  I wore a simple rose gold dress and Sandro's wearing a white long sleeves.

I've always wanted a big wedding but after I was diagnosed with cancer, I realized that big things doesn't always matter.  I'm beginning to appreciate small things and being Sandro and having his last name is more important.

I smiled when I walked on a small pathway where rose petals were scattered on the ground.  I can't take my eyes off him and he smiled at me.

Sandro kissed my forehead when I reached him.

The pastor started the ceremony and it's time to exchange vows.

"Bubby, it was 8 years ago when I met a woman na hindi ko akalain na magiging malaking parte ng buhay ko.  Your presence is so addicting na hindi ko kaya na nawala ka sa paningin ko. Lagi mong tatandaan na ikaw at ikaw ang pipiliin ko sa bawat araw.  Dumating man yung pagsubok at pagkalito, I hope our love will endure in the end, that you'll trust me. Kapag dumating man ang malaking pagsubok, sana lagi nating maaalala kung bakit tayo nandito sa araw na to.  I'm committed to you forever, Mrs. Reigo. I love you."

Hindi ko mapigilan ang umiyak.

"Sandro, Bubby, we've been through a lot, it's a long way down.  Sa dami ng pinagdaanan natin, ikaw yung naging mas malakas sa atin.  I wish God will grant me a miracle.  Kase gusto pa kitang makasama, gusto kong bumawi sayo.  If reincarnation exists, isa lang ang masasabi at mapapangako ko, matapos man ang buhay ko ngayon, ikaw at ikaw padin ang pipiliin ko sa susunod kong buhay.  Ikaw lang ang nag-iisang lalaki sa buhay ko hanggang sa kabilang huhay, Alessandro Markus Riego."

"I now pronounced you husband and wife."

Sandro slowly, sweetly kissed me.

Dapat masaya yung araw na ito pero hindi ko makuhang maging masaya ng lubos kase alam ko bukas makalawa mawawala na ako.

Umuwi na ang pastor even our friends, mama at ate Lara.  When we are left alone,  Sandro held my hands at hinila ako sa gitna ng sala namin at pinatugtog niya yung 'Forevermore'.

My head was on his chest and he's kissing my head while his arms circle my waist. 

We danced slowly not in the beat of the music but of our hearts.

"Remember our first dance, Bubby?" tanong ni Sandro.

Ngumiti ako at tumango.

"I hate losing especially with you."

"hmmm. you're very competitive then."

He chuckled and it vibrates on his chest.  I live with this feeling.  He always give me comfort and he's my home.  Tuwing restless ako, he's the only one who can calm me.

"But you want a secret, Bubby?"

I hummed, urging him to continue.

"Sinadya kong magpatalo so I could be with you.  I usually hate loud girls, ayaw ko sa makukulit but I don't know what's with you, I am bewitched.  I find comfort with your presence and laughter, even with your loud voice.  You grounded me."

May kung ano ang bumalot sa puso ko. Hindi masalitang tao si Sandro but he always shows me that he loves me through action and works.

"Bubby, when did you realize you love me by then? Lagi mo akong sinusungitan at tinataboy e." Mas hinigpitan ko pa ang yakap ko sa kanga.

"Intramurals day."

"Hmmm?"

"Yan yung araw na sobrang busy mo on preparing sa beauty pageant contest.  Hindi ako sanay kase lagi kang nakabuntot sakin." Tumawa siya ng marahan. "Buong araw kitang hindi nakita at parang may kulang.  I couldn't pinpoint it that time. Until na makita kita sa taas ng entablado na niyakap ng isang panget na lalaki--"

Agad akong napatingin sa kanya. Kumunot ang noo nang maaalala ang tahoong iyon.  Sa sobrang saya ni Roy noong manalo kami, he embraced me publicly at naiilang ko siyang tinulak pero hindi ako sang-ayon na panget si Roy.

"Wait... Are you talking about Roy?". Si Roy yung naging Mr. Intramurals King at ako naman yung Ms. Intramurals Queen. Tiningnan siya nito ng masama at hindi niha mapigilan na tumawa. " Hindi naman pangit si Roy a. Campus crush nga yun e."

Naningkit ang mga mata nito at niyakap ulit siya.

"Bakit crush mo ba yun?"

Napatawa ako at umiling nang makita na nakakunot padin yung noo niya.

"Good.  Pangit yun. Mukhang unggoy. So, back sa story, I hated when I saw you talking to him at lalo na noong yakapin ka niya.  Inaasar ako ng mga kaklase natin na sa  pagiging hard to get ko, makahanap ka ng iba.  That day you brought me so much emotions, fear anger, anxious, kaya sinagot na kita.  I hated seeing you with other man kaya babakuran na kita."

"Bakuran daw eh ako naman nanligaw sayo e. "

"Good old days."

After a while, I raised another question.  Alam kong paulit -ulit nalang pero I want an assurance.

"Why? Bakit pinakasalan mo pa ako?" Tanong ko tsaka dinugtong sa mahinang boses. "Alam mong mamatay din ako."

Sandro cupped my cheeks and look at my eyes.  Nakakatunaw kung paano siya tumitig.  He looked at my soul.

"Matagal na dapat tayong nagpakasal.  It's long overdue, Bubby.  Please.  Let's not talk about death.  Sulitin natin yung mga natitirang oras nating magkasama."

"Make it memorable."

Isabelle lost 10 kilos these past two months.  After the wedding, nagdecide si Sandro to live sa rest house nila sa Batangas, kase ayun yung hiling niya sa huling araw niya. 

Hindi ko alam why I am at peace even knowing that death is around the corner.  Maybe because love is stronger than fear and death.  Sandro gave me peace and happiness on my last days.