A Love that Stays

Storm

They stayed in Batanes for two weeks. Wala pa silang balak bumalik sa siyudad pero kinailangan na. Tuloy-tuloy ang pagsusuka at pamamayat ni Isabelle. Isang araw ay hinamatay ito. Hindi alam ni Sandro ang gagawin, natatakot siya. Hindi pa siya handang mawala si Isabelle.

Pag-uwi nila sa Manila, agad na sinugod sa ospital si Isabelle at agad na pinasok sa Intensive Care Unit. She was not responding and fell into coma. Tanging machine nalang ang bumubuhay dito.

Araw-araw siyang nasa tabi ni Isabelle. Nasa private room sila ng ospital at may mga gamit siya dito upang hindi na umuwi sa bahay nila. Natatakot siya na baka sa isang segundo o minuto na wala siya, biglang mawala ang asawa.

Every seconds felt like eternity.

Dalawang buwan na si Isabelle na walang malay. Sa pagtagal ng panahon na wala siyang malay ay lumiliit din ang tsansang gumising ang asawa.

He remembered his conversation with Isabelle's doctor last week.

"I am sorry, Mr. Riego. Your wife is not responding and only the machine keeps her alive. Her chance of waking up is only 5 percent.  I am sorry.  We did everything but it's up to the will and courage of your wife to wake up."

"I will hold on to that 5 percent, Doc." Madiin niyang sabi. Hindi niya susukuan ang asawa. Bahala na kung mamulubi siya pagkatapos nito pero gagawin niya ang lahat ng paraan. He will not be the one to kill his wife.

"I understand, Mr. Riego. But I will leave this consent form. Think about it. You wife needs proper resting. Bibigyan mo siya ng kapahingaan sa sakit niya. Don't think this as husband killing his wife because it's not."

Mercy killing. Euthanasia.

Napapaso niyang hinawakan ang form na binigay ng doktor.

I will never do it.

Bumalik sa kasalukuyan ang kanyang diwa at kasalukuyang pinupunasan niya ang mukha ng asawa.

"I'm so sorry kung nahihirapan ka, Bubby but I can't do it. I can't. Alam ko na makakaya mo 'to.  Makakaya natin 'to."

Naabutan siya ng mama at ate ni Isabelle sa ganoong sitwasyon at agad na pinunasan ang luha.

Malungkot siyang tiningnan ng mga ito. He had always close relationship with them lalo na noong naulila na siya. Sila ang naging pamilya niya.

"Kumain at magpahinga ka muna, Sandro. Kami na muna magbabantay kay Isabelle." Sabi ni ate Lara habang inaayos ang nga dala nilang pagkain.

"Wala akong gana, Ate Lara. Pero salamat. Ayos lang ako, samahan natin si Isabelle."

Natahimik ang mga ito at nakatingin lang silang tatlo sa walang malay na asawa.

"Napag-isipan mo naba?" He already talked to them about the doctor's suggestion.

"Ma, I can't. Hindi ko kaya. Hindi ko siya susukuan. Hindi ko kukunin ang nag iisang paraan para patuloy na mabuhay."

Ngumiti ang mama Luisita at hinawakan ang kamay niya.

"Salamat. Salamat ng marami, Sandro dahil hindi mo iniwan si Isabelle. Alam kong isinakrispisyo mo yung kaligayahan mo para pasayahin siya."

"Ma..."

"Alam ko, anak. Sinabi sakin ni Lara pero hindi ako galit. Nagpapasalamat ako kase nanindigan ka. You choose your commitment to her even if it means giving up your happiness."

"I am sorry, Ma. Kahit hindi ka galit pero alam kong disappointed ka." Nakayuko kong sabi.

"Disappointed, yes. Kase hindi deserve ng anak ko.  Maybe these past years really took toll in your relationship.  I just hoped you have to deal with it in different way. Pero hindi naman natuturuan ang puso. Alam kong masasaktan ng husto si Isabelle but if God will answer our prayer and let her live. Please tell her the truth. It may hurt her but she deserves to know the truth."

Hindi ako kumibo.

I don't know how to tell Isabelle that I am falling in love with someone else.

I know it will ruin her.

It will destroy her.

But I'm maybe falling in love with someone else but I still care deeply for her.

She's my priority above all.

"Ma, mahal ko po ang anak niyo." Ang sabi ko habang nakatingin ng derecho kay mama.  I want her to feel my sincerity.

"I know, you still love my daughter pero hindi na katulad ng dati. Hindi naman mawawala yung pagmamahal dahil sa taon na pinagsamahan niyo. Isabelle may still occupy a portion of your heart but someone held most part of it. You're willing to end your long term relationship for the new girl."

"Hindi kami galit, Sandro." Malumanay na sabi ni Ate Lara at may malungkot na ngiti. "Sorry kase sinaktan kita noong nalaman ko na balak mong hiwalayan ang kapatid ko.  I really thought you cheated but you choose the right way. You sacrifice a lot. Kami na ang bahala kay Isabelle. We want you to be happy. Maybe what you're feeling right now is guiltiness but please Sandro, we understand everything.  Isabelle will understand too, she loves you so much."

May kung anong kumurot sa puso niya.

"Ate, Mama, let me be the one to tell her when she wakes up. I will be honest to her and tell her everything. But for now, I want to focus myself to Isabelle. I want her to be better. I want her to wake up. I will be by her side when that time comes."

"Thank you, anak." Niyakap siya ni Mama Lusita.  "Ano man ang mangyari sa hinaharap.  We are still your family.  It will be a hard road ahead but please know, you still have us."

"Salamat, Ma." Binalingan niya ang kapatid ng asawa. "Salamat din ate. Patawarin niyo ako sa nagawa ko."

Lumipas pa ang isang buwan, wala pading pagbabago sa kalagayan ni Isabelle. But ate Lara and Mama convinced me to go back to work. This will help me distract and slowly back on track, help me get back my life.

Paper works distract me but I always go to her after the office hours. Lagi akong derecho sa ospital pagkatapos ng trabaho. Umuuwi lang ng bahay para kumuha ng gamit.  That's my routine for months.

I am aware that my employees are walking in thin ice around me.  I was never a chatty and smiley guy but it becomes worst when Isabelle went to coma. One mistake will makes me explode.  She's the only one who can calm me.

I always bring her flowers.

I write love notes to her everyday so she can read it when she's awake.

Pero hindi maiiwasan na may pagkakataon na mawalan siya ng pag-asa.

He looked at her wife's pale face. Hinaplos niya ito at hinalikan ang noo.

"Please wake up, Bubby. It's been six months already. Please don't give up for me. Please." Hinawakan niya ang kamay ng asawa. "I am sorry. I am sorry. Alam kong masasaktan kita pero pangako babawi ako sayo pagkagising mo. Hinding-hindi ako mawawala sayo. Just please wake up."

"Ate Lara and Mama are waiting for you too. Hindi kami nawawalan ng pag-asang gumaling ka. Please, Bubby, igalaw mo ang kamay mo kung naririnig mo ako. Please move it."

But like always, no response and no movement from Isabelle.

"Sorry, Bubby, I can't let you go yet."

That night, he went home to get some clean clothes and bring some confidential files he needed for the new contract they closed. He was busy putting clothes in his travel bag when his phone rings.

It was call from hospital.

Biglang tinambol ng kaba ang aking sistema.  Ito yung kinakatakutan niya, yung mawala lang siya isang saglit at mawawala sa kanya ang asawa.

Pinilit ko pakalmahin ang sarili bago sinagot yung tawag.

"This is emergency. May I speak with Mr. Sandro Riego?"

"Speaking.  What happened to my wife?"

"Your wife....'

Blurry na yung mga sumunod na sinabi ng nurse ng ospital.  Isa lang ang alam niya, he needed to go to hospital right now.