You Rock My World

Him

Why was he here.

How.

How could he possibly be here.

Him.

Lee Minho.

After all these years.

Seonghwa thought he'd never have to see his face again.

His pulse was racing, his palms shook. He couldn't steady his breathing. Everything was flooding back in a rush. It was too much.

He knew he'd been anything but obvious but he still hoped no one had caught on. Especially not Hongjoong. He didn't want him to get upset. He couldn't know.

He couldn't know that Lee Minho was Seonghwa's only ex.

The ex who treated him like shit and almost cost him his career.

And now he sat right in front of him. Following the same career path. And clearly doing just as well.

Seonghwa's fists clenched under the table. But he kept a smile on his face. He wanted to leave, to go back to his room and stay there forever.

But at the same time, seeing the way he stared at him, the way he locked eyes. Remembering the way those eyes used to look at him.

It made him want to stay right where he was.

He was so confused and overwhelmed.

To make things worse, he seemed to be sitting awfully close to Jisung. Everyone else's chairs were evenly spaced but he'd pulled his closer, their armrests touching. Seonghwa didn't want to jump to conclusions but he felt it in the way they looked at each other.

There was something there.

And it was mutual.

Seonghwa had really liked Jisung but he wasn't so sure anymore. Not if he saw anything in Minho.

Although, Seonghwa had seen it in him too. So maybe he should feel sorry for Jisung. Maybe he should warn him.

But it wasn't really his place.

And it had been years since he'd even known him like that. So who was to say he couldn't be an entirely different person?

"Seonghwa, you coming?"

Seonghwa looked up and noticed nearly everyone had stood and was leaving the banquet hall. Embarrassed, he nodded and stood, walking past Hongjoong's extended hand.

"Hey, Hwa...is everything okay?"

"Yeah, of course," Seonghwa managed but he knew it wasn't convincing. He walked faster to join the rest of the group. He knew he couldn't keep everything from Hongjoong and wanted to delay the inevitable.

"—you make brownies!?" Wooyoung gasped.

"Yeah, I like to think I make them for stay—that's what our fans are called," Felix smiled.

"I am officially a stay now so you have to make brownies for me," Wooyoung said with a playful grin and Felix laughed.

"If you're really part of stay, then I have no choice. I could never deny them a brownie," Felix smiled back.

Seonghwa caught up to San who seemed to be enjoying the conversation but he seemed a little down.

"Hey Seonghwa, what's the schedule for tomorrow? Wooyoung wanted to hang out with Felix and Changbin since they have a day off. Do we have a day off too?"

Seonghwa knew they shouldn't get too comfortable but he also didn't want to turn into the controlling dictator he'd been before. It was hard to tell where to draw the line but he was trying to lean on the safe side.

"Yeah, why not? But we'll have a big practice Monday, okay? We could all use another day to let our minds rest."

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news but we're actually scheduled to meet with JYP tomorrow so he can get a feel for how we do things and let us know the ground rules."

Hongjoong had appeared behind the two of them.

"Awww," San sighed but Seonghwa felt like he might be a little relieved.

"Sorry Sannie. But we'll all eat dinner together so you can hang out then!"

San smiled and nodded. He moved ahead to join Wooyoung, leaving Seonghwa with Hongjoong again.

"Hwa, what's going on? Since when do you grant days off?" Hongjoong laughed. It was intended as a playful joke but Seonghwa didn't find it funny.

"I'm just trying not to be as hard on them. I don't want to push them away again...was I being too easy on them? It's hard to tell..."

"Oh—no, no, no! You're fine! If we didn't have the meeting I would have given them the day off too! I'm sorry—I shouldn't joke about that, it's not funny. I know how hard you're trying. That was stupid of me."

"It was also stupid of you not to tell me we were meeting with JYP tomorrow."

Hongjoong fell silent.

"Shit, I'm sorry Hwa. Fuck! Why do I keep doing that?"

"It's fine."

"Hwa..."

"Goodnight everybody! See you tomorrow! It was nice meeting you!" Seonghwa waved to the group as he walked into their room and Hongjoong rushed his goodbyes and followed him in.

Seonghwa went right to the bed and collapsed, letting his eyes shut.

"Hwa, I'm sorry—"

"Please just—I need a minute. It's not you I'm just—overwhelmed."

He had been holding in so much after seeing Minho again. He was exhausted.

"Sure, of course, whatever you need."

Hongjoong sat on the other side of the bed, wringing his hands.

Seonghwa knew he wanted to say something but he was grateful he stayed silent. He just didn't have the strength to keep accepting apologies or to lie about Minho.

After a few minutes, Hongjoong stood and started getting ready for bed. After he'd brushed his teeth and tucked himself under the blankets, Seonghwa finally stood and started to change.

"Hwa...did you want to talk about what happened earlier?"

Seonghwa paused, his back to Hongjoong.

"You don't have to it's just—you seemed...upset."

"What would I be upset about?"

"I don't know...that's why I was asking."

"I don't know, I guess I was just overwhelmed by all the new people. I had fun tonight though."

Hongjoong seemed to accept it. Seonghwa was glad, as he didn't want to keep avoiding his questions. He didn't like lying but it wasn't going to do anyone any good if he told him the truth.

Hongjoong knew everything about his ex, about the horrible things Minho did to him. He'd only be more upset if Seonghwa told him.

And Seonghwa wasn't trying to start anything.

So he'd keep quiet. At least, for now.