You Rock My World

He knew

Seonghwa stared after Hongjoong. His words rang in his ears.

"You're really bad at hiding things from me."

He knew. He figured it out.

And now he walked away.

Was he controlling his anger? Or was he not mad at all?

"Seonghwa I'm not going to run away, you can loosen your grip."

Seonghwa looked down and realized his fist had tightened around Minho's wrist. He snapped back to reality and let go, taking his hand away.

"Sorry."

Seonghwa watched as Minho began to pace back and forth on the balcony, his hands running through his hair.

"What did I do wrong?" he muttered, over and over again.

Seonghwa held his tongue. He knew he should try to help him but he couldn't bring himself to speak. He was stuck thinking about Hongjoong.

He knew.

He knew.

He knew.

"I'm going to go talk to him."

Minho spun around and headed for the door but Seonghwa stopped him, stepping in his path.

"No. He wanted space."

"But I can't just let him be upset by himself!"

"I know, but Hongjoong's there. Trust me if anyone can make you feel better, it's Hongjoong. He always knows what to say."

Seonghwa smiled sadly, feeling incredibly guilty. The sweet boy who'd always listened to him and praised him and loved him...

He knew how much he'd been hiding. And Seonghwa couldn't imagine it looked good.

"Hwa, please I need to see hi—"

"What did you just call me!?"

Seonghwa's nostrils flared as he grabbed Minho's shirt, balling it in his fist. Minho put his hands up, attempting to look innocent.

"Woah—sorry, it's just—habit! I never used to call you Seonghwa. You have no clue how hard it's been not to call you that."

"Don't you dare use that name again."

Seonghwa was inches from Minho's face. Minho looked at the ground and nodded.

"Okay. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to stir anything up—"

"Oh really? Then what were you doing all night!?"

Seonghwa shoved Minho back, causing him to scoff and straighten out his suit.

"Helping you show Hongjoong I've moved on? We planned this, what are you talking about?"

"Last time I checked, the plan didn't include throwing yourself at Jisung all night! Or was that part of your redeemable ex-boyfriend act?"

Minho laughed, shaking his head.

"Wow, Seonghwa. You really can't get over me, can you?"

Seonghwa glared.

"No really! I treat you like shit, steal your dream job, and basically destroy your future and you're still obsessed with me!"

Seonghwa felt his face heating up and it just heightened his frustration.

"You're so fucking full of yourself! You only made out with him as a sad attempt to make me jealous!"

"Of course! The only logical explanation! Have you even considered that maybe I was trying to help you!?"

Seonghwa stared at him in disbelief.

"Help me!? By shoving your tongue down Jisung's throat?! Please! Explain to me how that could possibly help me!"

"I was showing him that I've moved on! If he sees that I'm clearly over you, he has no reason to get protective!"

"You think that's why he'll get protective!? He'll get protective because he knows what you did to me, asshole!"

"HEY!"

The two froze, turning to the door to the balcony, where Chan stood, his eyebrows drawn.

"Look. I don't know what's going on, but I suggest you leave, Seonghwa. I don't tolerate screaming matches in this dorm."

"You heard the guy. Get the fuck out," Minho sneered.

"Minho. Don't think you're excused. You're the oldest member. Think of the example you're setting. If this happens again—you're out."

Seonghwa saw the fear flash through Minho's eyes. It was almost shocking to see how much he really cared. Seonghwa hadn't ever seen him so scared to lose something.

Or someone.

Seonghwa didn't want to cause any more trouble so he nodded and walked back inside, whispering a quiet "sorry" as he passed Chan. He felt tears starting to spring in his eyes and he willed them to stay down—just until he was out of the dorm. He didn't want Minho to see him cry. He didn't want him to know how much his words hurt him.

As he was about to leave the dorm, his storm was calmed—just for a moment—as he heard a familiar voice.

"Seonghwa?"

He didn't turn. He couldn't look at Hongjoong right now. He didn't deserve his pity. It wasn't fair.

He turned the doorknob and left, making his way up the stairs. After he'd cleared a flight he heard the door fly open as Hongjoong chased after him.

"Seonghwa! What the hell?! Are you okay?"

Seonghwa ignored him. The tears were already falling. He hated looking so pathetic. So weak. That was how Minho made him feel. With one raise of his eyebrows, Seonghwa's cheeks flared pink. In one moment, he seemed so nice. And in the next, he tore your heart out and stomped on it.

"Seonghwa! Seonghwa!"

Seonghwa made it to the floor and entered the dorm using the key card. He could hear Hongjoong coming up the steps behind him but he let the door slam shut.

"You guys are back!! We're playing Apples to Apples if you guys want to—"

Mingi paused as the group of three noticed Seonghwa's tear-streaked face.

Silence fell over the lounge and Seonghwa continued walking. He heard a chair scoot back as Wooyoung stood and followed after him.

But Seonghwa got to his room first and locked the door.

He crumpled to the floor, holding his head in his hands. Why did it always come to this? To anger? To rage? To words he could never take back?

Why couldn't he just keep a level head for once in his goddamn life!?