You Rock My World

We both know I deserve it

As soon as they'd wrapped up practice, Hongjoong walked back to his laptop. He had to find it. It couldn't just disappear. All of his hard work. He'd already set all of the chords and lyrics, he couldn't just remake it off the top of his head. If he'd really lost it, he'd never be able to show it to Seonghwa.

Not that he saw that happening any time soon. He wasn't all that thankful as of late.

But that didn't mean he didn't still believe there would be a time when he would be ready to let Seonghwa back in.

And when he was...he needed to show him the song.

"Hey, any luck?"

Hongjoong didn't glance up, too focused on his screen.

"Nope."

Silence followed and he realized he might have been a little short with his member.

"Here, let me help."

Hongjoong motioned to say it was fine but in glancing up, he noticed who it was and slammed his computer shut.

"Seonghwa," he gasped.

"Sorry—I didn't mean to—"

"No, it's okay, I'm sorry. I'm just—stressed about this—file."

"You'll find it. I know you will."

Seonghwa gave him a sweet smile and Hongjoong almost felt convinced. Almost.

He turned back to the laptop, running his hand along the stickers on the back.

"Hongjoong, you've been searching all day. Why don't you take a break? Staring at the same filenames for hours is just going to make your head hurt."

Hongjoong's thumb stopped moving and he stared at it.

"I know. But...it's really important."

"Do you...want to talk about it?"

"No, but thanks, Hwa."

"Okay."

Hongjoong waited for Seonghwa to walk away so he could keep looking but he just stood there. Hongjoong was starting to get a little annoyed. He just wanted to find it. It had to be somewhere.

"Joongie...I wanted to ask—"

"No. I'm not ready."

A silence followed before Seonghwa hesitantly continued.

"It's...It's not about that. It's—"

"I'm sorry, Hwa but if you have something to say, say it. Otherwise I could use some space."

"Sorry. I just—Wooyoung is ready to talk to San."

Hongjoong looked up in surprise. He felt a little bad for snapping.

"He is?! That's amazing! Thank God. I was really getting worried about them," he sighed.

"I'm not sure how well it'll go and...I wanted your help to facilitate it. If you don't want to be around me I can just let you do it. Whatever you need."

Hongjoong felt so guilty at how cautious Seonghwa was being. He knew it was what he'd asked for but it still made him feel horrible.

"Yeah, I'd love to help. You can be there, too, don't worry Hwa. I wouldn't exclude you when I know how much our members need you."

"As if—you're the best at these kinds of things. I normally just get too worked up to even notice," Seonghwa said shyly.

Hongjoong knew he should say something to let him know his worth but he was a little tired of trying to make up for Seonghwa's lack of confidence. He was just a little sick of Seonghwa thinking so low of himself.