You Rock My World

I want to stay

Hongjoong shook awake as a sliver of light flooded the room from the hallway. Seonghwa was back.

The door shut softly behind him and he almost smiled at the sweet attempt to avoid waking him.

Except for the fact that he was already awake.

He lay still, turned away from the other as he slipped under the covers. Hongjoong debated turning around.

What the hell was going on between Seonghwa and Minho? Maybe they'd gotten into an awkward conversation the other day when Seonghwa was out making friends. But then why would Minho have come all the way here to talk? That seemed a bit extreme for acquaintances, especially if they didn't get along.

He knew he'd noticed something at dinner but he hadn't wanted to make a big deal out of it, especially since Seonghwa seemed like he didn't want to talk about it.

But Hongjoong wanted to help him.

He had seemed so upset.

And if Minho was the cause of that...

Hongjoong just wanted to know what was making someone he cared about hurt so much.

And being out of the loop was making it really hard.

But he still wanted to respect Seonghwa's privacy. And he trusted him to handle it on his own...

But it didn't mean it didn't hurt him too.

Finally, he started to turn when he felt a chilly ankle wrap around his waist. Seonghwa pulled him in tight, encompassing him with his body.

Hongjoong was so surprised. He hadn't seen that coming.

"Oh—I'm sorry did I wake you up??"

Hongjoong turned his head to see Seonghwa peering down at him over his shoulder. He'd seen his open eyes.

"Oh no—I just couldn't fall asleep. I—I was worried about you."

Hongjoong turned over so the two were face to face, Seonghwa's limbs still wrapped over his small frame.

"Aww Joongie..."

Seonghwa leaned in and pressed his forehead into Hongjoong's. They lay in silence for a little while, just listening to each other breathe.

"Hwa listen, I'm sorry about everything I said. I know how horrible it sounded and I didn't mean it."

"Actually, I get it."

Hongjoong stared at him in confusion.

"I want to stay."

Hongjoong felt a smile fill his face.

"Really!?"

"Really. I thought about it and I realized I was being selfish. It's clearly the best option for the group. And the group comes first."

Hongjoong didn't like hearing his words as they came back to him.

"But you were right too. It's too much to ask of San and Wooyoung. And...we're in a good place. We deserve what's best for us too. I really don't want to mess it up."

"We'll have to ask San and Wooyoung as well as everyone else before we make a final decision but I have to admit, I was wrong about us. We keep underestimating each other. Because...I love you. And just because we can't tell everyone about it doesn't mean I have to stop telling you. I'll say it to you every night and every morning. Every moment we have alone. I believe in us. Over everything else."

Hongjoong felt his heart racing, his eyes pooling with tears.

"Hwa," he croaked and threw his arms around him, burying his face in his chest.

"I mean it. No matter what, I'll always love you. And as long I have you here with me, I can do anything. I will do anything and everything for you, and with you. We're a team. We're co-leaders. This is our band and we're going to make it big. No matter what we have to go through to get there. Who knows, maybe once we've gotten big enough to leave, we can make out right in front of JYP."

Hongjoong had been crying but he calmed down, laughing at the last line. Seonghwa pulled him away, thumbing the tears from his cheeks.

"If San and Woo don't want to, we'll still find something better. But...I know this is the best opportunity to get our start as a big group and I think it could be good for us."

Hongjoong smiled and nodded, snuggling back into Seonghwa's chest.

"I love you, Hwa. Thank you for taking the time to think about it."

But as the words left Hongjoong's lips, he realized something. The only time he'd had to think was the past hour with Minho.

So...

Had he said something that changed his mind?

Or maybe...was the sudden change related to whatever was going on between them.

Maybe he didn't have to say anything at all.

Hongjoong closed his eyes, breathing in Seonghwa's scent, trying to cover the negative thoughts.

Seonghwa was doing a nice thing. A really nice fucking thing. And here he was jumping to unfounded conclusions.

Sure there was something going on but it was none of his business until Seonghwa was ready to tell him.

So for now, he would wait.

They fell asleep, still wrapped around each other.