You Rock My World

I might have lost him forever

The practice ended and they were met with a sea of applause from the higher-ups who had attended. Especially JYP.

As they started packing up their instruments, JYP made his way over to Seonghwa and placed a firm hand on his back.

"Park Seonghwa. Leader of Ateez. Great job today," he smiled and Seonghwa released a soft chuckle.

"Co-leader, but thank you," he smiled. Although he was mad at Hongjoong, he didn't have the heart to step on his title.

"Right—of course. You just stand out as the biggest presence in the group, I forgot. I can tell you must have been a great leader in your last group as well."

Seonghwa wasn't sure where this was going.

"Thank you, I don't deserve that kind of praise. I did alright but I've grown a lot since we've formed Ateez."

"Really? Hongjoong was telling me otherwise. He said you'd influenced him to be harder on the members when necessary. So you think it was his leadership that affected yours?"

So he had heard Hongjoong correctly when he was talking to JYP earlier that practice. He was throwing him under the bus just to make himself look better for JYP. He was trying to paint himself as the benevolent leader who controlled the tyrant. He knew they weren't on great terms but he hadn't expected him to stoop so low.

"I suppose it was a bit of both," he said with a forced smile. He closed his guitar case and stood up straight, hoping to demonstrate he was ready to leave.

"Well, you've had a long day so I won't hold you any longer. I just wanted to commend your performance. You were the star of the show today."

Seonghwa felt a shy smile stretch across his cheeks and he bowed, thanking him as he left. He wasn't sure how to feel about the compliment. It was certainly nice to hear but it made him feel guilty. He was practically implying Seonghwa was the only leader who stood out. Implying Hongjoong could have done better.

He didn't want to be in competition with Hongjoong. He was past that.

Although apparently Hongjoong wasn't...

He waited to make sure everyone had left before he started making his way back to the dorms. As he hung back behind the group, he dared a glance around to look for Hongjoong before realizing he wasn't there.

He'd probably gone off to write songs by himself. Again. Without saying anything. Why couldn't he just let someone know??

Seonghwa felt his blood boiling but it instantly calmed when San wrapped his arms around him from behind.

"Hi Seonghwa!" he smiled and Seonghwa instantly felt a rush of warmth.

"Hey, Sannie."

"I saw JYP talking to you. What did he say??"

Seonghwa wasn't sure how much he wanted to relay to San. He decided a bit wouldn't hurt.

"He actually...complimented my performance."

"What!? That's awesome! Of course, that makes sense, given your amazingness," San laughed.

"Amazingness? I don't think that's a real word."

"It is now," San grinned and Seonghwa shook his head.

Seonghwa realized they'd just reached their dorms and as they neared his door, he glanced up, noticing someone standing outside it. A little piece of him hoped it was Hongjoong.

But it was Wooyoung. And after seeing San's arms wrapped around Seonghwa, he gave a weak smile and walked away, heading into Mingi and Yunho's room.

Seonghwa felt awful. He still hadn't had a chance to talk with either of them and he didn't want to take sides. If he was being honest, he was most worried about Wooyoung. Especially since San had already been so clingy with Hongjoong this morning.

He looked San in the eye and San realized his choice. He slowly let go.

"I guess...I'll be in my room," San muttered, walking away.

"San wait—"

"It's okay. Someone should check on him. Go ahead."

Seonghwa looked after him as he made it to his door. San looked back once before opening it.

"I still want to talk with you, okay?" Seonghwa said, hoping he knew that he meant it.

"Sure."

The door closed and Seonghwa was left alone in the big hallway. Sighing, he turned back to Yunho and Mingi's room and knocked on the door.

"Woo, it's me. Why don't you come to my room, okay?"

"I'm fine. You can go talk to San. I know you're mad at me."

"Woo, I'm not mad at you—I don't even know what happened! Please, let's talk, okay?"

"We can talk to him, hyung," came Yunho's voice from behind the door.

Seonghwa bit his lip. He hadn't meant to undermine their ability to help, he just wanted to make sure Wooyoung was okay. He'd been waiting at his door. Clearly he wanted to talk. Before seeing San.

"Fine. Then can I come in? I promise not to bring it up if you don't want me to."

The other side of the door went quiet as they debated. Eventually the door slid open, revealing Mingi.

"He says it's okay," Mingi nodded and Seonghwa smiled, stepping inside.

They all gathered on the bed, turning on the TV to play a game. It was something they hadn't done together—just the four of them—since before he'd ever met Hongjoong. But it was one of his favorite things to do with his members.

Yunho won pretty much every time but it made the few times he got second place that much better. And he was always a humble champion so it never bothered them.

After a couple rounds, Mingi suggested a new game he'd gotten from Yunho before they'd left and the two decided to put it in. It turned out to be a two-player game, so Seonghwa and Wooyoung let the other two try it out.

They sat watching on the bed, Wooyoung's head resting on Seonghwa's shoulder. Seonghwa ran his fingers through Wooyoung's hair lightly, playing with the soft black strands.

"Hey, hyung?"

Seonghwa turned to look at him.

"Yeah?"

"Can we go to your room? I'm ready to talk now."

Seonghwa felt the brightest smile creeping across his cheeks but he contained it. He didn't want Wooyoung to know how excited he was to be let in. Instead, he nodded and the two walked back to the other room.

Once inside, Seonghwa shut the door and the two sat cross-legged on the bed. Wooyoung looked down at his hands.

"I'm worried...I might have lost him forever."