The Rhythm Of Our Lonely Hearts

Chapter Seventeen: I Need to Unlove You to Love You

Chapter Seventeen: I Need to Unlove You to Love You

"Hello? Palms Rehab and Wellness Center, are you there?" The woman asked, repeating herself.

Andy's heart was racing in his chest, staring wide-eyed at the man in front of him. He could feel the lump forming in his throat, his palms breaking out in a cold sweat. If he hung up, that was it. He could see it in Matt's eyes; this was his final chance.

"Y-Yes... sorry, I'm here..." He managed to say, feeling lightheaded.

"Can I ask, who is calling? Are you a current patient?" Her voice was soft and inviting, although it did nothing to ease the singer's anxiety.

"Um... uh, no... I'm not a patient... not currently..." Andy stumbled over his words, not knowing what to say or how to ask for the help he knew he needed.

"Are you interested in receiving treatment? We offer a wide variety of treatment plans; I can take your information over the phone, and we can get you an appointment set up to go over things."

Matt nodded Andy along, his own heart beating wildly. Afraid that at any moment Andy would change his mind, continuing to run away.

Andy's bottom lip started to quiver, his hands shaking as he choked out his words. "Y-Yeah... okay... um, it's Andy Biersack."

The rest of the conversation was a blur, giving his information to the woman and setting up a time for a call to discuss a treatment plan. The call ended, leaving him in stunned silence. What did I just do? He asked himself, not sure if the uneasy feeling in his stomach was regret or relief.

Matt was just as speechless, not believing the scene that had just played out in front of him. He didn't know what he expected when he handed Andy the phone, but he felt a spark of hope for the first time in a long time. He needed to be realistic, one phone call was a far shot from Andy actually going. He had his doubts about the singer's ability and willingness to go through with it. Careful optimism was probably still too much.

Andy looked down at his feet, trying to even his breathing. His stomach in knots, feeling like he was going to throw up. The more he tried to calm himself, the worse it got, realizing he was going into a panic attack. Air becoming harder to get in, only causing him to struggle more to breathe. Without the aid of alcohol, he was helpless to stop it, his inability to stop the dreadful feeling fueling it.

Matt bit his lip, debating whether to try and help Andy. He had just taken a huge step, but no good deed goes unpunished. Watching as Andy paced away from him, his hands on top of his head as he tried to stop himself from hyperventilating.

"Andy..." Matt spoke softly, stepping closer to him.

"Come here..." The guitarist grabbed his hands, pulling Andy in close to his chest, arms wrapping around the shaking singer, careful not to hold him too tightly.

"You're going to be okay, just breathe with me..." Matt whispered, inhaling deeply, and holding it for a second before letting it out slowly.

Andy closed his eyes, focusing on trying to sync his breathing with Matt's. All the stress and anxiety that had been leading up to this moment was coming down on him like a massive wave. One day he might look back and realize that this was the start of a healthier, happier life, but right now it felt like a punch to the gut. His head swarming with destructive thoughts, not sure he'd be able to make it through the night without one of his vices. He needed something to numb the pain in his heart.