Couldn't Wait |JJK

◇9◇

▪A Caring Husband ▪

........Color me cold.

I felt Lisa patting my back and continually whispering comforting word in my ears.

After another 10 minute break I finally stopped weeping. After I had finally calmed down lisa took some wet wipes and wiped my tears as well as my pathetic looking face.

"Thx lisa"

"Its okay nikkie. Crying is no reason for shame. Lets go its fine."

I looked at myself at the mirror. I looked like an actual wolf. Gray eyes, messed up make up, mascara smears down my rosy cheeks. I look disgusting. I am disgusting. I have two men. Im so disgusted with myself and the girl staring back at me from the mirror looked more like the disgusting-me that I am. 

I fixed my already ruined make-up and looked at myself in the mirror once again.
Mhm.
That same girl staring at me in the mirror. From outside I look so normel. Like any other girl. Just like I'm fine.  Not the girl I was a few minutes ago.I tileted my face to the side a little bit and put on a smile. I looked so real.

Wow. Just wow. Look at me!! I look so fake yet real. MY Gray eyes glisten in the bright light and my smile shows all of my white dazzling teeth. It didn't even look like I was hurt. It didn't even look like a was a broken flower, struggling to get through massive turns of my life.

Gotta stay strong, nikkie. Crying, regretting, screaming is allowed, but falling apart and giving up is not allowed.

MY mother would tell me these words of motivation........if only she was alive.

No more crying.....It happens and it's not In my hands..... but making it better and staying strong through the dark times is in my hands.

I looked at my fake self in the mirror and sadly smiled again, and followed lisa out of the women's restroom.

.
Those dark thoughts were still lingering in my mind as lisa made her way to the pilots cabin and I made my way to my crew.

Smile and bow.
Smile and bow.
Smile and bow.

All through the flight my fake-self image was still staying not moving out. I tried to forget how bad I looked....but in vain.

"Heyya Nikkie. You look lost?"

"Im fine jisoo...just some family problems..." i replied her and put my fake smile.

Seems like it convinced her and she left.

So my fake smile does work...... that well that it can convince people who are this close to me....

Would it work on yoongi?

In around another 5 hours the flight landed back in Seoul and it was 7:00.

I swiftly clicked my heels toward the speakerphone.

"Good afternoon passengers, Flight atendent Nikkie speaking, we are currently landing In Seoul, South Korea. Kindly buckle your seatbelts and make sure it is tightly fastened.
The weather in Seoul is nice and breazy about 23°Celsius. Thank you for flying with dreamlifter airways.We hope you have a nice day ahead."

I spoke the same damned line again. Bored the shit of my job.

Soon after all the people un-boarded my cremates and I cleaned up.