Tears of the Clueless

Byakuya... Why?

I've been out of the hospital for a week now, and for the whole seven days I was Hell-bent on avoiding Byakuya and Renji. As soon as I saw either the spiky red ponytail or the telltale white on black, I immediately bolted in the other direction.

Oh, I've gotten an earful for it, though.

From Yumichika. "You're never going to be able to choose one if you avoid both of them."

And Ikkaku. "No offense, but I see why you're not on squad 11. Cowardice isn't tolerated."

To which I replied "Well fluff you too, Buddy Boy."

And Jushiro. "Running away won't solve your problems. I'm no expert on this kind of thing, Ali,but I do know this much. If you keep doing what you're doing, you're going to hurt Renji-San, Byakuya-San, and yourself."

Oh boy, did he have a good point. But I have a better one:

I'm no pro at romance and I'm a coward when it comes to it. Not my fault! Blame whoever designed me!

Okay, so not a better one... Not even a remotely good one... Hardly a point at all...

Oh FLIPPING well then!

Damn! Was that Byakuya?! Hello, goodbye, see ya later alligator.

I spun on my heel, leaving Yumichika in the dust as I ran.

"Ali!" He called.

Oh, why did he have to call out like that?

Bam!

I hit something sturdy and a cool, soft hand grabbed my wrist to steady me.

"Ali."

I looked up...

"B-Byakuya," I stuttered nervously.

"You've been avoiding me," he said gently.

"No! I-"

"Ali," he interrupted, making me look into his onyx orbs. Hurt, sadness, no anger, just....

"I'm sorry," I said guiltily, looking at my feet. "It's just... At the hospital, I heard what you and Renji said... About liking me..."

His grip tightened before softening. "You did?"

I nodded.

"And," he pressed.

"I..." I swallowed. "I feel awful saying this, but I don't know how I feel about either of you...... I've just been running like a coward and hurting you two and I don't deserve either of you and- and...." I paused, taking a deep breath as I trembled, feeling awful. "Sometimes I think it's easier being hated...."

"Ali," he said gently, and I flinched. He tugged on my hand and pulled me into his chest, wrapping his arms around me securely. "Don't say that, don't speak so terribly about yourself."

"Byakuya," I whispered, frozen.

Two fingers seized my chin and forced me to look into his abyss black eyes. They were so soft, caring..... Loving.

"Take all the time you need to find out what you want," he whispered. "And if it makes you happy, let it be with me or Renji, I'll be happy as well."

With that, he swooped down as planted another sweet kiss on my lips, but this one wasn't as fleeting as the last.

His soft lips moved slowly, gently against mine, making me shiver slightly as my eyes shut of their own accord.

And hel-lo fireworks. Electricity shot throughout my entire body, making my skin, lips especially, tingle.

His nimble fingers danced up my spine before moving to caress my cheek as he pulled away.

He set his forehead against my own and stared intensely into my eyes. "Just don't avoid me any more, Ali, please."

"I'm..." I choked on the words, still breathless. "I won't, I promise. I'm sorry, Byakuya."

The faintest trace of a smile, the movement of his thumb along my jaw, and he moved back.

Quick footsteps caught my attention, and I wheeled around just to see a flash of red hair disappear around the corner.

Could it have been....?

"Renji!" I yelled, bolting after him.

Byakuya let me go, but thinking back on it now, I wish he hadn't.