Captivation

38: Gratitude

Gratitude (noun): the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.

“So I swear we’re going to talk more about this.” Henry tells me as he shuts us in his room.

“Okay,” I say, “What do you want to know?” I ask.

“Just,” Henry says, raising a finger up to silence me, “Not tonight.”

“Why not?” I ask.

“Because tonight, I just want to look at you.” He tells me, pulling me into him.

I laugh, “You’d better admire me while you can because I don’t look this nice often.”

“You always look lovely.” Henry says, and I can tell that it’s not to compliment me, or flatter me, it’s because he means it. He says it like one would state a fact.

“Thank you.” I say softly.

Henry twirls his hand through one of the curls that has fallen out of all of the pins that Mary put it in. “We’re not going to be good for each other.” Henry tells me, but he doesn’t say it with a quitting attitude, he says it like he wants to make sure that I know.

“We’re not good for anyone else.” I tell him.

Henry gives me the same look he did on our last night in Felticion.

“What are you thinking?” I whisper, I’m afraid if I speak too loudly, I’ll scare away the look in his eyes.

“I can’t tell you.” He whispers back.

“But now we’re on a team.” I whisper back, taking his face in my hands. “You have to tell me, otherwise, how could we win?”

“I’m thinking about you.” He says.

“Good.” I say, smiling, resting my arms on his shoulder, my hands looped loosely around his neck. There is a long pause that allows me to think about something that makes me feel sour, “Were you with any of those girls?” I ask, almost not wanting to know.

“How stupid do you perceive me to be?” Henry asks.

“I think it’s a reasonable question.” I tell him.

He rolls his eyes, but he answers me, “No, Madelyn.”

“What changed? And don’t say me, because you’ve known me too long for it to just be my existence.” I state.

“I’m not interested in them anymore.”

“Elaborate?”

“I’m interested in you. I look at them and I compare them to you. You’ve become the standard, and no one is you.” He looks at me with worry on his face, and I don’t have to ask him why, because I already know, he’s admitting something personal to me, he’s letting me know how much I mean to him. Love is power. “Why’d you come back to me?”

I tell him everything that happened with Phillip and Tanner. And then I tell him my emotional struggle that went on in the woods.

“He tried to what?” Henry asks.

“I just told you I was a coward and that’s what you want to talk about?” I ask.

“Yes, it is, do you have any idea what he could have done to you?”

“Yes.” I say, and I know my face gives way to more emotion than I would like.

He looks like he wants to ask more, but he stops himself, and I am grateful. “Why did you come back?” He asks finally. “And on another note, I’m glad you had some self-discovery.”