I swear, everyone has turned on me at least once. Everyone.
I remember running down my hallway, and crashing down onto my bed, panicking. I couldn't breathe, and there were so many thoughts running through my head. "He doesn't love you, nobody does. Nobody ever will. You're an excuse of a person. Why don't you just kill yourself?" Suzana's words rang in my head. Maybe she was right. Maybe Stephen didn't love me. Either way, I wanted nothing more than to feel numb. I looked up at the clock, my eyes locked on it, my mind being hypnotized by the steady metronome of its ticking. Tick. Tick. Tick. The feeling in my fingers started to fade. They got warm again, and my tears ceased. I looked to my radio. It was off. I stumbled to it, dramatically standing up and regaining my balance. I turned it on. I played the CD in it. Mayday Parade. "I try to sleep, but my eyes are open. I can't think, 'cause my heart is broken." I sang along. I stared out my window, and tuned out the rest of the song. It was raining. God, I loved Jacksonville. The leaves outside my window were a vibrant green. "So, Jacksonville, you're feeling the same way?" I asked the rain. I looked down to my bed. "It's a terrible feeling, isn't it? I hope you feel better." Yeah. I was talking to the town. I sighed and got up from my bed once more. "Coffee." I stated, smirking as I looked in the mirror. I smoothed my dark brown hair. I grabbed a baggy hoodie, and threw it on over my Attack Attack! shirt. I had purple skinny jeans on, and black plaid slip-ons. No socks. I'd rather be barefoot. I grabbed my wallet and my phone and I walked down the hall again. I walked down the stairs, and to my front door. I opened the door, and pulled my hood up. I tucked my hair behind my left ear, revealing a size 2 gauge, then behind my right, revealing two more gauges. Another 2, and a 6 in my second hole. I began walking down the sidewalk and toward Starbucks. I began to hum Amber Lynn by Mayday Parade. I thought about school. I was in my senior year. I hated it. I wanted to drop out. I sighed as I enjoyed that thought. I looked up from the ground. Starbucks. I was there. Maybe I could unwind the day here. Cassie would let me hang out until closing time.
