Falling Apart (Ziall Horlik)AU

Chapter 3

Zayn's POV

I opened the door to my flat and threw my suite case in  not caring about wherever it landed. The lights were all off so I knew there was not going to be some sort of welcome home from Perrie. The sad thing was, I didn't expect one.

It was 6:30 A.M. so I knew I should just go back to bed, but my mind was restless with the fact I just left Niall there crying. I never make him cry. It's the last thing I ever want to do and if I do make him cry, I make sure to make it right. Now we're both in completely different countries so there's no way of making it right.

I walked into my graffiti room and looked over the walls. Mostly everything in here was about Niall or something Niall wanted me to paint. I even have a spray painting of Niall on my wall for Christ's sake. I picked up a can of blue paint and looked over it. I wasn't really in the mood to do this, so I set the can down and left the room that was creepily a shrine for the boy I love that doesn't feel the same and never will. Especially now after I tried to kiss him, then just left.

I went into my living room and just sat there looking at the blank television screen, not even thinking, just letting my mind space out. I knew I should take a shower because I reeked of pot, but my body didn't feel like doing anything. So I just sat there, looking at nothing with my mind replaying nothing over and over again.

The room soon went from the bright of the morning to the moon shinning into the windows. I heard the front door open and shut, then a small gasp. My heart skipped a beat because I thought it could be Niall here. He has a key to my flat, so maybe he changed his mind and came to London.

"Zayn?" My heart broke as a voice that was far from belonging to the Irish boy spoke through the flat. His voice is smooth, deep and so beautiful. The voice was high pitched and much too sweet.

Soon Perrie walked into the room with a huge smile on her shocked face. I knew it was time to pretend again, so I stood up from the couch and smiled at her.

"Oh my god! I wasn't- you're home!" She squeaked, then ran to me, latching her arms around me. I did the same and as soon as I had her in my arms, I felt a wave of emotion rush over me. An unexpected sob left my mouth, but I wasn't sure why. I just felt everything at once and it was the scariest thing ever.

"Gosh, Zayn, are you crying?" Perrie asked me as she pulled away from our embrace. I shook my head and turned away from her as the tears wouldn't stop falling. I felt her hand run up and down my back as I tried so hard to stop these feelings. It just felt like a wave that kept crashing into my heart making me feel a different emotion each time it hit. It was actually becoming too much for me to even handle.

I ran from the living room up the stairs to our bedroom and looked for a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. When I found them, I went outside to our balcony and light one up with shaky hands.

From the first drag, I felt my body calm down just a bit. With the second drag, I felt myself start wondering what the hell is wrong with me. This isn't normal and it's not something a twenty-two year old should be feeling. I shouldn't be feeling like my whole world is crashing down on me in a matter of seconds. Mostly, I shouldn't be feeling heart broken my fiancé walked into my house instead of my band mate.

There was a small knock on the door and I turned from leaning over the balcony to look at Perrie who scrunched up her nose and waked out. I watched her movements as she reached for my bearly finished cigarette and throw it to the floor. A small whine left my mouth as she stomped it out and took the pack and lighting from me.

"You said you were going to quite. You also smell like pot and alcohol. I thought you were twenty-two and smart enough not to do that stuff." Perrie told me in a cold tone with her blue eyes staring into my brown ones just. She reminded me so much of Niall.