Chapter 9

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Zayn's POV

"Goodnight, we love you guys!" Harry screamed at the crowd as we finished our final song. I felt like I was about the throw up because of how nervous I was. You would think after a few songs the nerves would go away, but for me they stay the whole show and get worse and worse with each time I have to sing.

All of us ran off stage, the others went to the dressing room to change their clothes, but I ran to the bathroom.

"Zayn!" Niall yelled after me, but I felt like I was going to be sick right here. I turned and found a bin and emptied my stomach in that. I was shaking and felt like I couldn't breath, just like our first show in Australia. That time I just had such a bad attack that they had to break down the door to get me out and only found my gasping for air.

I emptied the rest of my stomach, then my legs gave out, but Niall was standing behind me and caught me as much as he could before I fell.

"I can't do this!" I screamed and grabbed on to his shirt. I felt him wrap his arms around me and start rubbing my back in gentle movements that started calming me.

"You're alright. You know I got you." He told me calmly, then started putting kisses on my forehead. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on just having Niall here and not the fact I couldn't breath.

"Get him off the floor, it's time to go." I heard David say. I felt my anxiety start to intensify at the sound of his voice and broke down into tears.

"No, no. Niall, don't leave me! I- stay!" I screamed through my tears as I felt like I was going to pass out. I don't understand why my attacks are so bad, I just want them to end.

"I'm here. We're not going anywhere until you calm down and feel better. You can do it, deep breaths." Niall's words were the only thing I could hold on to while my mind was making everything around me turn into this big fuzzy world of worry. I looked at Niall and he literally looked like an angle. He had a calm look on his face that made me feel calm and his blue eyes held so much love that I know I don't deserve.

"You're okay." Niall told me again, then looked away from me for a few seconds then back to me. My heart rate felt like it went back to normal and I felt like I could breath normally again, but Niall stayed holing me with that same look on his face.

"Liam, can you help me here?" Niall asked, without looking away from me. I just stayed fixated in his blue eyes because my body and mind was too exhausted to do anything else.

I felt myself being picked up from Niall's arms, causing me to break eye contact with him, but I felt his hand slip into mine and felt better.

"Mate, just lean your head against me." Liam told me. I didn't want to listen, but my head felt too heavy to hold up so it rolled on to Liam's shoulder involuntarily.

When we got in the car, I was set down in my own seat next to Niall. I closed my eyes and leaned against his small frame. He locked our fingers together, then placed a kiss on my forehead before my eyes felt heavy and slipped shut.

Niall's POV

I watched Zayn's tear covered eyelashes shut and his body relax against me. I'm sure this is one of his more calm attacks. I can tell that this one just took allot more out of him mentally than other ones that just make him angry after words.

"Here's a Gatorade for him." Harry offered, handing me the yellow drink. I took it and opened it for when Zayn woke up, then set it on a cup holder.

"How many does he get a week?" Harry asked me. I saw that he was concerned, he has everything right to be. Zayn looks like he's about to throw up while we're on stage, he follows me around when he gets scared and he can't control his shaking hands.

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