Falling Apart (Ziall Horlik)AU

Chapter 12

Niall's POV

"Are you positive you don't want to come home with me? We have three days off and I don't want you spending it alone..." Liam told me after we just got back to the hotel. Zayn and I were planing on leaving at different times tonight to go to the airport where we would get on the same privet jet. He already left to the airport so I knew I would be leaving soon.

Liam was positive that I was loosing my mind when I told him I was going to give Zayn another chance. The boys all thought I was crazy to do that, but it did help allot of the tension between all five of us on stage.

"I'm just flying out in a few hours. I'll be fine there as long as I have food and alcohol." I joked with him, just wanting him to get on his plane to go see his perfect girlfriend.

"Just... I don't want you alone with him. Niall, please rethink this. I'm not saying you can't make peace and be friends, but please don't be anything more than that." Liam begged me, then grabbed both my hands in his. I shook my head and gave him a reassuring hug that I was fine. He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me like I was going off to war.

"Li, you'll miss your flight. Sophia misses you, get home." I laughed lightly while patting his back. He gave me multiple kisses on the cheek and head then waved me goodbye, leaving my room.

I went and sat on my bed just looking at nothing and thinking if I was making the right choice. Liam has always treated me differently than the other boys. He's always been the one to make sure I make the right choice. I feel like I am, but with Liam questioning it, it has me wondering too. I love Zayn and I honestly can't see myself with anyone else other than him.

Sure, Melissa was nice and we had a small thing going, but the whole time I just wanted Zayn. It was almost like everything she did reminded me of Zayn. The way she would make sure her hair was perfect before leaving to go do something. How she walked like she owned the whole place, and don't get me started on the fact she wore more black than people at a funeral home. She was Zayn and I realized that when we went out clubbing the second night I was in Australia.

The weird thing about all of this is I know I'm not gay. I had sex with Melissa more times than we actually talked, but I just love Zayn. I'm attracted to him in all the ways possible, but I still like girls. I guess I'm Zayn-sexual, but when it comes down to it I'm just in love with his heart.

The first time we spent time together as a band, I saw how quiet he was but when it came to him having a say in something it was always about if it would makes everyone happy . I remember the first night we spent at Harry's dad's bungalow, we both just stayed up all night talking about anything and everything. The minute I knew I had feelings for him was when he almost started crying because of how lucky he felt to even have a chance at being a singer. I knew that something gentle in his heart made him try so hard to please everyone, yet still be himself. I knew the minute that I hugged him for the first time, he wasn't like other friends I had made in the past because there was more to him that what he lead on.

Now after years of knowing him like the back of my hand, he's changed. It's the saddest thing for me to see him change so much, but I guess it's sad for him to see that I haven't. I haven't had anything to change me as a person because I don't have as much potential in my talent as he does. And because of that, I'm not pushed so hard to do things that I can't just be me anymore. Zayn has all of that, and I've seen it start to slowly ruin him into the broken man he is now.

I know he doesn't mean to hit me or hurt me. I know that's not Zayn. Zayn is loving and sweet and kind, he would never purposely hurt someone. That's probably why I'm giving him another chance. Because I know his heart and I know he deserves it.