Falling Apart (Ziall Horlik)AU

Chapter 17

Zayn's POV

"Is there anyway of changing your mind?" Liam asked me suddenly after the long silence there was after Niall spoke. I was glad that I had one person on my side in this, but I already expected that from him.

"No, I have to do this." I told him, then wrapped my arms around Niall. He leaned into my touch and nuzzled his head into my chest. I'll miss him the most out of leaving.

"No, you don't!" Harry cried, breaking out of Louis' arms. He was a complete mess, but I wasn't sure why. I know this is allot for just saying it without warning, but I guess I just thought they would all take it easier.

"Guys, I have to leave. Please, understand and make this easier on me. I don't want to leave. I don't want to do this, but for me at this point in my life, it's right." I told them all, feeling tears start to burn my eyes. I blinked my eyes multiple times just to make sure they didn't fall. I couldn't cry because then they knew that I was being weak. I needed to be strong, that's why I made this decision in the first place.

"I don't want you to go!" Harry cried and ran over to hug me, but getting Niall as well in the process. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed his wet cheek.

Soon, all of us were hugging in our final group hug. I never thought I would be the first one to say goodbye, but now that I am it's harder than it ever seemed. I just loved them all so much that saying goodbye is like one of us is dying. All of us were full on sobbing, Harry was throwing a fit but I knew it wasn't because he was being selfish. It was because he's Harry and doesn't know how to feel things. Niall was taking it the best, but I wasn't surprised.

I knew he wanted me to make decisions for myself and I knew he wanted me happy. This is what will make me happy... in time. Also, Niall and I have a deeper connection than any of the other boys do with me.

When we made love, I felt like I connected with his deepest emotions and I felt like I was always going to be able to feel what he feels. Maybe he was the same way as me and that's why he's supporting me so well.

We all let go of each other and wiped up our tears. Harry went into Louis' arms and continued crying. Liam tried to give me a brave smile, but it ended up looking like he was trying not to cry. Niall didn't look at me. I just continued to look at the floor, but I still saw the tears on his sweet cheeks.

"I think we all need some sleep and I'll tell Simon in the morning." I told the boys. They nodded and Louis took Harry out of the room. Liam went in to the bathroom and shut the door behind him.

"Can you stay with me?" I asked Niall quietly. He nodded, then we both walked out of the room. We silently walked into my room and both went to sit on my bed.

"We can't ever talk about us. I know you'll want to now that you won't be under contract, but that would get me in trouble." Niall told me, then reached his hand out to me. I laced our fingers and nodded because I knew that's just how we would have to be as long as he's signed with Modest.

"But you still want to try with us being something?" I asked him, then swiped my thumb over his knuckles. I watched as his eyes looked down at our hands and a light blush rise on his cheeks. I leaned in and placed a kiss on his cheek just because it might be my last time ever doing that.

Niall looked at me with so much regret in his eyes and I knew that this wasn't going to go where I thought it would. This wasn't going to be Niall telling me to fight with him for what we had even if it was going to be a long distance relationship because I'm not in the band. This wasn't going to be Niall jumping into my arms and kissing me to show me we would still be alright. No, instead this was most likely going to be Niall breaking my heart for the second time. But after all the times I've hurt him, I knew I deserved it.