Falling Apart (Ziall Horlik)AU

Chapter 5

Zayn's POV

Yesterday after I got back to me and Niall's hotel room, I just locked myself in the bathroom all night. I didn't feel like talking to him and I didn't feel like hearing anyone make me feel better because I knew it would only be lies.

This morning when we all had to leave to go to the venue, me and Niall didn't say two words to each other. We just held our hands together as tight as we could. It made me feel guilty for ignoring him last night, but I knew he would just try to tell me how everyone's criticism is far from the truth when I know it isn't. I know I'm not the best singer and I know I'm not very smart to learn where I'm supposed to stand, it's just painful that I get reminded that from someone else.

"You okay?" Niall asked me before we went and did an interview for the press. We were standing outside the door before going in and I was really freaking out. I knew they would ask me multiple questions about why I was missing from different events the boys did in the past or they would ask me how my engagement is going. All my answers would be lies. I would lie and say I was sick or I would lie and say I was madly in love with Perrie.

"I'm fine, just take the questions from me when they're asked?" I mumbled to him and hooked my arms around his waist. He stepped closed into my touch and leaned his head on my chest while I placed kisses in his hair. I looked up from my moment with Niall and met Liam's eyes. He looked like he was trying to figure something out, but I didn't want him to. As much as I loved Niall and as much as I wanted everyone to know that, I knew he would always be my little secret.

I pulled away from Niall, but kept a hand on the small of his back. I smiled at the way it felt to touch him that way. His back is so strong, yet it's so gentle. I love the way that feels better than feeling curves of a woman. I'm not gay, I still think all women are hot and stuff, I just like the way Niall feels when I touch him. Really I think I'm straight and gay for Niall.

We were told to go out and do the interview so we did, but the whole time I held Niall's hand under the table to keep me from telling these nosy people to stop asking such personal questions. We have personal lives, well I wish we had personal lives, but even it we did they should be respectful of that.

"Zayn, you're engaged to Perrie Edwards. Do you think that's a good idea as such a young age?" One of the people asked me and I knew that I had to answer. Niall and Liam couldn't steal this question from me this time. I felt Niall let go of my hand, so I looked over at him at saw a pure look of hurt in her eyes despite his poker face. I looked back out at the crowd of people.

"Yeah, I think it's a good idea to get married at my age. I want to settle down and finally have a slow life and I think I can have that with Perrie. I love her, so I definitely think it's a good idea." I told them, but my words hurt more to actually say than they ever should have.

"Well you're in the biggest boy band in the world, you're never going to have a slow life." The person laughed, then someone else cut in with a question for Louis asking if he was going to marry Eleanor which made Liam crack a smile being Mr.Obvious. I was too busy thinking over what that press person told me. Of course I can have a normal life, when the band is over after we let out our fifth album I'll get married and have kids and be normal. That's the plan behind getting engaged, to get a normal life out of the deal.

Once the press conference ended, we all went one stage of the venue and ran through some songs then went back backstage for the rest of the day because people were starting to come in to take their seats.

We all sat in a back room where there were ping pong tables, video games, food and other things to keep us occupied; but I was only needing one thing. I watched as Niall went and started eat a few things that were on the table. I couldn't help but just admire how cute he was but also how extremely hot he was.