A Life On The Edge

A Mom

Lyle’s been gone for hours and it’s not even really that late. It’s only 9 o clock. When I told him I had expected a little more of a reaction. Instead of sighing with relief, crying with regret, or yelling in anger, he simply said...oh.

That was it.

I sat on the couch not looking at anything really. Just kind of staring out the window. Poor Lyle. That was all I could think as I snuggled into my dead ex-lover’s jacket. I’m a pretty fucking up person and that’s becoming more apparent to me every day. I’ve k!lled a lot of people. I’m a murd3rer, I should be in prison. But prison terrifies me. I k!lled Sadie, and I know it bothers me because my brain has created a ghost that follows me around and says things I won’t dare to say out loud. I’ve involved Lyle in this chaos I call a life. I’ve woven myself into the lies and daily routines of the people in this fucked up town. I know way more then I should about everyone. 

I’m infatuated with a man that reeks of danger and destructions.

I’ve created myself my own little love triangle and the people involved aren’t even aware. I have the man that has literally given up his life just to be with me. Then I have the man that I chose, that has uprooted everything that made him who he was and left it all behind just to see me safe. And then I have the stranger, the man who came out of nowhere with dreamy blue eye and southern twang. It’s not fair what I’m doing but I’m not doing it my heart is.

Maybe it’s because it’s used to loving things in threes. First there was Chris, Ricky, and Eli. Then there was Eli, Ricky, and Jason from rehab. After that there was Ricky, Eli, and Lyle. And now here I am again still in love with a dead man. Lyle doesn’t deserve someone like me. I’m nothing but a heartbreaker.

But I love him.

“I know that face.” Dylan sighed taking the seat next to me on the couch. “You’re thinking bad thoughts.” He frowned. “Talk to me.” I gave him a sad look. I wanted to talk to him. I really did, but that just wouldn’t be fair. How I could I talk to him about my feelings for three other people? He was in love with me…and here I am wanting everyone but him.

“I’m going to go the beach.” I sighed standing up. Button jumped up and followed me out the back door. I walked the beach just lost in my thoughts, thinking about how I got here and why. I frowned. I wonder where Lyle went, well I know where he went. He went to the basketball court at the school, that’s where he always goes. He’ll be back and I’ll be waiting.

“Riley!” I stopped and turned around to see Ryder.

“Are you stalking me?” I asked. He laughed and came to walk beside me.

“No, I just came here to surf but…no waves at the moment so I’m kind of shit out of luck.” He frowned.

“It’s too cold to be in the water.” I grumbled taking a seat.

“I never see you in the water. Are you a mermaid or something?” he gave me a sly look.

“That doesn’t make any sense.” I chuckled.

“Sure it does. I can’t ever see you get wet or else I’ll see your tail but you’re always on the beach because you’re drawn to water.”

“You smoke too much weed Ryder.”

“No I just read to many comic books.” He laughed. I rolled my eyes. “So are you a mermaid or what? You can tell me I won’t tell anyone.”

“Yeah, I’m a mermaid.”

“No shit?” he said surprised.

“Yup! Got kicked out of the sea for saving a human. Poseidon was all like ‘if you like humans so much then you can be one!’ so now I’m stuck with these.” I said motioning to my legs. “Shitty part is he put a curse on me. So now I can’t swim. Not even if I wanted to.”