A Life On The Edge

What Just Happened?

"How was your thanksgiving?" Eddie asked. I sighed as I restocked the CD's.

"Eventful." I said. "Yours?"

"Spent it taking care of some business, and with the horses. But with my dues out of the way I think I'm ready to take you out on that date now."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah...how about I pick you up tomorrow at eight?"

"Sounds good." I smiled still feeling a little cautious. I was so confused when it came to Eddie. Everything was shrouded in mystery with him, and the worst part was I liked it. It intrigued me. I was attracted to the danger of him...and I didn't want to be. Not with everything else going on in my life. Since the holidays had passed and the drama of cop investigations, spontaneous suicides, and an early prison release I've had a clear head. I've had time to think about the craziness that has really happened these past couple of days that all the side drama interrupted. Let me list them for you.

1. I ordered Jennika's death without consulting Lyle.

2. Lyle proposed to me

3. Lyle called Carla when he was in Phoenix

4. He was unsure about coming back to me...so how could he be sure about wanting to marry me?

I'm not sure if I want to marry him. Am I crazy? I love him. I love him more than life itself but marriage? Just the word makes me want to cringe. I mean I just got used to having a family, if that's what you can call our band of misfits. But the one thing that's been bugging me most of all is the fact that I'm two weeks late for my period.

Throughout entire life the only constant and reliable thing I've had was my period. Everything else around and inside of me was constantly changing. My environment, my safety, my state of mind, my mood, but the one thing I could always count on was my period coming right on time. I've never been late.

Never.

That's something that's been bothering me. How? I'm so careful. I take my birth control regularly, and Lyle always wears a condom. I have no idea how this could have happened. I'm freaking out and I don't know what to do. I don't want to tell Lyle because I don't want him to get his hopes up. I think if I were to get pregnant he wouldn't freak out like I am, he'd get excited.

I am not for that.

"Everything alright?" Eddie asked, I jumped at how close he sounded. I turned around to see him leaning up against the bookshelf. "You look lost." He was so close I could feel his breath, and I seemed to have been at a loss for words. "What are you thinking?" he whispered.

"What do you have planned for out date?" I mumbled. He smiled and played with a strand of my hair.

"Fun stuff, trust me."

"Like what?" my heart was pumping so fast it made my hands shake. He bit his lip and smirked at me.

"Do I make you nervous?"

"No,"

"Maybe...I make you excited."

"No I don't think so," the quiver in my voice betrayed me.

"Then why are you shaking?" he smiled taking a hold of my hand.

"I don't know." I could feel him getting closer and I liked it but I shouldn't.

Lyle

"Eddie stop." I huffed and stepped away from his hypnotic presence.

"What did I do?"