That's Why They All Left You || TommyInnit Angst || DSMP

Chapter 2 - Overthinking

Tommy watched his mother walk out the door, and he grabbed his phone scrolling on Instagram, he looked at a photo of Tubbo and Ranboo. They looked so happy together. Much happier than when he was with Tommy. ,,Guess moving to America really impacts your happiness.." he joked to himself.

He decides to text Dream, and waits for his response. He scrolls on twitter, seeing him being cancelled for banning someone from his stream. He sighs and decides to go on a walk, he texts Jack to see if he wants to join him.

- Tommy -

"Jack! Wanna go on a walk today? And if its alright, can I talk to you about something?"
- Read at 12:34 -

Tommy sees he read the message, and waits for a response, his leg bouncing as he does so. A few minutes pass and there's still no response. Standing up, he walks out the door and heads down the street. He wants to hang out with someone, but there's no one that would want to hang out with him. He is annoying after all.

This isn't the first time he's been left all alone to his own devices, last time was about a week ago.

TW- Suicide Attempt - Hanging

Tommy had a bad day of streaming, mostly hate comments getting to him. He texted Phil to see if they could talk about it, but he was left on read. He started overthinking about the comments, questioning if they right or not. But since none of his friends texted him back after reading them, he decided they were.
Tommy never had good mental wellbeing, but he'd put up a front online and with his friends. He was happy online. He had no mental health issues until he hit the end stream button. That's when all the thoughts came flooding in about it. Telling him he's annoying, worthless, loud and that was about it. Nothing worse than that.

Not until the end of this particular stream. The voices got louder and more annoyed at him tuning them out. He stood up and walked to the bathroom, looking in the mirror. He hated how he looked, he'd do the same thing as Ranboo but then he'd marked down as copying the faceless Streamer. Another thing he'd be cancelled for. The voices told him he was disgusting, ugly, loud, annoying, hated, and most importantly, he wasn't worthy of life. He had never listened to that one much, never paid any attention to it.

He thought about what it was saying, he looked at himself in the mirror. "Do it. Do everyone a favour." He looked down and tears pricked at the back of his eyes, he went downstairs, his mother was out and his father at work, he went Into the shed, got the rope and went back inside.

He was stood an a chair now, the rope around his neck. He looked down. Tears were flooding out of his eyes now, he felt like he had no choice, but he didn't want to end it, he was doing it to make his fans, friends and family happy.

He kicked the chair, the rope restricting his breathing brought panic to him a little. He hung for 10 seconds, but it felt like forever. The rope snapped and he fell, he landed on the fallen chair, hurting his arm and back. He yelped out in pain.

END OF TW - SUICIDE

Tommy looked at his hands, he was shaking now. No one ever found out about the attempt. Well, Wilbur knows. He was hesitant on leaving the boy and going on his trip. Tommy assured him he'd be fine and that he has nothing to worry about. He stared at his hands. His vision was blurred through the tears and he slammed his hands on the sink. He opened the cabinet and got some prescribed tablets from the doctor. They were supposed to help him, he knew he couldn't be helped.

He was sat in his room now, glass of water and pills in hand. He looked at his computer and contemplated sending a goodbye message to his friends. He got up and walked over. He messaged dream first, then Techno, then the rest of his friends. He was sobbing now.

Opening the bottle, he poured them into his hand until he was spam messaged by Techno. Things like "Tommy don't you dare", "you do that, I will not hesitate to fly over there". He cared, Tommy ignored them and changed his discord status to offline. He messaged Techno a sorry and logged off.

~ Techno POV ~

Shit. I look at his Discord status and he's offline. I start spam messaging the DSMP discord server and a few people come online. I tell them the situation and they all start messaging Tommy aswell. I grab my phone and call him. I wait and he answers.

"Tommy! What do you think you're doing?!"

I wait for a response but there's silence. "Tommy? You there?" I hear a small "mhm." On the other side.

"I'm gonna get a ticket and you're going to explain why you thought about doing that. Okay?" He shuffles on the other side of the phone and I hang up, shaking.

~ 3rd Person ~

Tommy sits there, he puts the pills back in the tub and puts the glass of water down, he logs onto discord again and reads messages from the people who care about him. Tubbos online, but he hasn't said anything. Ranboos spam messaging. He types something and says he's alright and people start thanking God. "They should thank Techno, not God." He jokes to himself through tears.

Wilbur texts: "Tommy. You promised you wouldn't do that again."

Everyone starts spamming the word, again, with exclamation marks and question marks galore. He ignores it and rests his head on the desk.

A week ago when Wilbur was brought in by his mother, they both were just as shocked as each other. He ran and picked up the sobbing boy, he held him close and his mother ran and stared at him. She stroked his hair in a comforting way. They All sat down and talked about it. He could tell one thing from it all. Wilbur was mad at him, not because of the attempt, no, he'd never be mad at him for that. He was mad because he didn't reach out to him for help. "I noticed something was off on your stream, so I came to check on you."

Tommy thinks about that day everyday. The disappointment and anger in Wilburs face, the worry and upset in his mother's. The shock in his father's. He couldn't help but cry at it and blame himself.

Techno was coming soon, everything would be okay for a while.