Sarah Paulson one shots

Dont hate me

Reader x Venable

Tw/ restricting, purging, self harm, suicide

Today has been horrible since I woke up . When I woke up Mina had already left for work so I wasn't gonna get to see her until she got home tonight . When I went downstairs I saw a plate on the kitchen table with a little note

'Here's your breakfast since I didn't want to wake you this morning . Please eat . I'll be home as soon as I can . Love you
-W.V'

I never understood why she still signs the notes she leaves me like that . But I wanted to at least try to eat what Mina left me since she went out of her way to make me food even though I was sleeping . I put the food in the microwave for a few seconds to heat it up . The whole 30 seconds I was telling myself that I was gonna finish the whole plate and take a picture of my empty plate to send to Mina and how proud she was gonna be . I was brought out of my game plan when the microwave started beeping telling me my food was done heating up . When I pulled out the plate and looked at all the food I felt like my plan was gonna fall apart . I sat down on the floor with my plate and started slowly eating starting with the eggs since it seemed like the easiest thing to finish . After I finished the eggs I ran upstairs to grab my phone to take a picture of my empty plate once I ate the bacon . To distract myself while I was eating I went on my phone to go through my messages and responded to Minas good morning text even though it was almost noon

'Hi Mina sorry I didn't respond earlier I was asleep lol thank you for the breakfast I'm almost done with it !! Love you'

After I sent the text I continued eating while going through my social media's . I went through Instagram and went through the few pictures Mina had on her page . I always did this when I was home alone and im always trying to get her to post more . I was looking at her pictures when she texted back . I was nervous to read it so when I heard the little ding I put my phone on the ground and turned it off so I wouldn't see the little preview of the text . I ate the last piece of bacon and opened Minas message

'Well good morning/ afternoon to you . I'm so proud of you honey . My lunch break is in 30 minutes so I'll FaceTime you then'

When I read the text I took a picture of my empty plate and sent it to her . I got off the floor to wash my plate and went to the living room to watch Netflix until Mina called me . I was watching The Rugrats movie when I started panicking about how much a already ate . I was trying to focus on the movie but all I could think about was how much weight I gained from eating the breakfast and how ugly I'm gonna look . Minas gonna leave me once she sees how much weight I gained . I need to get rid of all the food so I paused the movie and ran to the bathroom . I grabbed a toothbrush I had hidden behind a towel and shoved it down my throat as far as it would go . It wasn't working so I shoved my fingers down my throat and started gagging myself as hard as I could but still I wasn't throwing up the food . My gag reflex is almost nonexistent since I've been purging since I was 13 . I started crying when the food wasn't coming up so I put one knee under my stomach and started hitting my body against my knee and still shoving my fingers down my throat and I finally started throwing up . I pulled my fingers out of my mouth but continued hitting my stomach against my knee until I had nothing else to throw up . When I was done I wiped my fingers with some toilet paper, closed the toilet lid and laid my head on it while I caught my breath and spat up some pieces of food that got stuck in my throat . When I was finally calmed down I flushed the toilet washed my fingers and swished Listerine around my mouth . I went back to the kitchen to get a cup of water and sat back down on the couch to watch my movie until Mina called . After a few minutes my phone started buzzing underneath me and I giggled a little at the name I had Mina saved as

'hoe #1💜'

Mina hates that I saved her as that I like it . It makes me laugh whenever I see it . I put on a smile and answered